


Wide Awake

by kyungscultleader



Series: Dream A Little Dream of Me [2]
Category: B.A.P
Genre: Alcoholism, Angst, Attempted Rape, Child Abuse, I was so young when I wrote these, M/M, Mentions of Attempted Suicide, Self-Harm, aftermath of attempted rape, but people love it, happy endings, idk why, not well edited, these are some dark tags for something I wrote when I was 16, this is also quite bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 02:45:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 34,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16547336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyungscultleader/pseuds/kyungscultleader
Summary: When Yoo Youngjae woke up from his coma and started his new life with the love of his life, Jung Daehyun, they both thought that everything would be perfect. There was just one problem; Youngjae's parents. All Youngjae wants is to get over his depression once and for all and forget about everything that made him want to end his life. But how can he start a new life with Daehyun when his old life won't let him go?Sequel to Sleep Well, Dream Sweet.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "The fututre belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." - Eleanor Roosevelt
> 
>  
> 
> Jung Daehyun was never the type of person to get possessive over many things. Even when he was a child, if someone took his favourite toy, he'd just find a new toy. No, he was never the type to get possessive, or particularly protective. But when it involved a boy named Yoo Youngjae, however, that completely changed. Daehyun had never felt more protective or possessive than he had at this moment, standing hand-in-hand with a scared Youngjae outside a dreary house on a dodgy Seoul street.
> 
> “We don't have to do this, Youngjae. At least, not yet,” Daehyun said warmly.
> 
> Youngjae had been out of hospital for nearly two months now and the younger thought it was about time he faced his demons. Or as most people call them, his parents. Daehyun has been trying to convince him not to; the wounds – both metaphorical and physical – were too fresh in the younger's mind and Daehyun was afraid that he would retreat into his depression if this went badly and, if Daehyun was being completely honest, there was no other way this could end.
> 
> “I do have to, Dae. Before I can properly start my future – my future with you – I need to take care of my past,” Youngjae said, flashing Daehyun a small smile. The latter squeezed his hand as a form of encouragement. “Thank you for coming with me. You didn't have to, but I'm glad that you did,”
> 
> Daehyun instantly pulled his boyfriend into a tight embrace, not caring that they were in the middle of the street.
> 
> “Of course I came,” he whispered into the other's ear, softly running his hands through Youngjae's hair. “And of course I had to. I couldn't leave you to face them alone; could I? What if they tried to hurt you? What if you-” Daehyun could barely choke out the next sentence. “What if you tried to leave again?”
> 
> He felt Youngjae shake his head frantically.
> 
> “I won't; you know I won't. I have you now and you've given me everything I could ever need,” his words were muffled by the crook of Daehyun's neck, but the Busan boy heard him perfectly.
> 
> “I know you won't but it's not something I can bear to risk,” Daehyun said, shifting Youngjae a little so he could kiss those pink lips. “Are you sure you're ready?”
> 
> Youngjae only hesitated a little before he nodded.
> 
> With Daehyun's hand in his, Youngjae walked determinedly up to the front door.

Youngjae slumped down onto the couch, cradling his head in his hands. He felt the cushions dip beside him and an arm wrap around him to pull him closer to a warm body.

“I’m sorry, Dae,” he muttered through his fingers and the arm around him tightened. “I just couldn’t do it.”

“Youngjae-ah you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for.” Daehyun told him, thinking back on that afternoon.

Youngjae had taken Daehyun to his old house for moral support when he went to confront his parents, but just as he was about to knock on the door he chickened out and Daehyun didn’t think twice about getting him the hell outta there.

“I just couldn’t do it! I was too scared.” The younger said. He removed his head from his hands and instead let it rest on Daehyun’s shoulder. He felt Daehyun’s lips on the crown of his head and he smiled.

“And that’s okay, no one said you had to do it just yet. You don’t have a time limit, Jae. Take all the time you need.”

Youngjae nodded. “But I mean, I have to go back sometime to at least get my stuff; I can’t keep wearing your clothes and whatever Junhong lends me.”

Daehyun smirked. “I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to walk around with _no clothes_.”

Youngjae blushed and rolled his eyes, though he thought he should be used to Daehyun’s flirtatiousness by now.

“Aish, be serious.”

“I am serious!”

The smaller boy shook his head and smirked. “And what about when school starts again, huh? You’re okay with me walking around naked there?”

Daehyun’s eyes widened and his other arm came up to wrap around Youngjae, clinging to his boyfriend like a sloth to a tree. “No! My Jae! Your hot body is for me only; you got that mister?”

He rolled his eyes. “Yes sir.”

“Good. Now, I'm going to go make dinner.”

Youngjae grimaced. “You’re not going to burn it again, are you?”

“Hey, that was your fault!” Daehyun defended himself and his cooking. “You’re the one who came out of the bath looking all sexy and wet in my t-shirt and distracted me!”

Youngjae raised an eyebrow. “Whatever you say, Hyunnie.”

“It’s true.” Dae pouted.

Youngjae nodded. “Of course it had nothing to do with you being a horny pervert or anything~” he teased.

“Yah!” Daehyun’s pout deepened. “I’m going to go cook now.”

Youngjae giggled as Daehyun stood up off the couch and slumped into the kitchen.

His last couple of months here with Daehyun have been like something from a fairytale. Daehyun treated him with the utmost respect and care and Youngjae couldn’t be happier. Sometimes the younger felt like he didn’t deserve Daehyun. Youngjae knew he was hard to love; he had a few breakdowns, and he’d nearly relapsed into self-harm a couple of times too, but Daehyun had been there each time to help him through it. He felt like he was just a bother to have around and he often wondered why Daehyun put up with him. It didn’t matter though because Daehyun was always there to assure him just how much love he had for the other boy.

Daehyun knew that it was hard for his boyfriend, and he understood that. He didn’t expect him to just wake up and be completely happy. His parents had left scars on his heart and fear in his mind and Daehyun didn’t know if those would ever go away, but he was going to at least try and help. If nothing else, he could let Youngjae know that he was here for him through thick and thin. He did everything he could to make Youngjae comfortable and happy.

Getting up from the couch, Youngjae went to set the table. Daehyun watched him happily as he stirred the pasta. He especially admired the view when Youngjae bent across the table to put a glass down and Daehyun’s mind flashed with memories of another time Youngjae was bent over that table.

“Hey, Youngjae?” he called.

“Hmm?” Youngjae replied, not looking back at Daehyun as he set down the forks.

“I love you.” He said.

Youngjae froze and felt his whole body flush.

“I love you too.” He said. He could say it more comfortably now, but he always got nervous when Daehyun said it. Suddenly, Youngjae felt two strong arms wrap around him and a pair of lips on the back of his neck. Youngjae blushed but leaned into his touch.

“You’re so beautiful, my angel. I’m so lucky to have you.” Daehyun’s lips travelled to Youngjae’s shoulder and his hands found their way to the button of his jeans.

Youngjae caught Daehyun’s hands to stop his actions. “You’re going to overcook the pasta.”

Daehyun groaned and let go. Quickly, he rushed back to the pot that was now boiling over. Youngjae laughed at Daehyun, who was grumbling and trying to save his pasta. Thankfully, he managed to stop it from being overcooked and it was still edible.

They ate dinner in silence, although the silences were filled with loving glances across the table at each other. They did the washing up together; it was a routine that they’d managed to perfect in the past couple of months and it sometimes reminded them of their time in the cabin back in their dream world.

They never got any answers as to why they were in each other’s minds; Daehyun liked to think they were just meant to be, whereas Youngjae was still trying to find a logical explanation. They didn’t know if that field was a real place, though they both hoped it was and Daehyun may have spent some time on Google looking for it once or twice. If it _was_ real, he’d love to take Youngjae there someday.

Youngjae only put down the book he had been reading when he found himself dozing off. He set it aside on his bedside table and shuffled out into the living room of his and Daehyun’s apartment.

“Hyunnie,” he said cutely and held out a hand to his boyfriend, who was sitting on the sofa watching some sports rerun. “Come to bed with me?”

Daehyun instantly flicked off the TV and stood up, taking Youngjae’s hand and letting the younger lead him back to their bedroom. Already in pyjamas, Youngjae tucked himself back into their bed and watched as Daehyun removed his shirt. His eyes roamed over the muscles in his boyfriend’s back and he blushed (yet didn’t look away) when he bent down to pull some pyjama bottoms out of the drawer as Youngjae got a clear view of Daehyun’s toned backside.

He looked away when Daehyun turned around to join him in their bed. The moment he was under the covers, his arm wrapped around Youngjae and the latter was pressed against his body. Youngjae smiled lovingly up at Daehyun, and the Busan boy leaned down to meet Youngjae’s lips in a chaste kiss.

“Let’s go to sleep, jagiya.” He whispered against Youngjae’s lips. The boy nodded and closed his eyes, rolling over so his back was pressed against Daehyun’s chest.

Daehyun too let his eyes flutter shut and in no time the two had fallen into a blissful sleep. Their minds were at peace with no idea of the turmoils they were about to face.


	2. Chapter 21

Junhong woke with a heavy arm slung lazily across his torso. For a second he panicked, not recognising where he was and who he was with, but that passed as quickly as it came when memories flooded his mind. He was in his and Yongguk’s room, in the house they shared and it was his Gukkie’s arm that was wrapped around him. Zelo relaxed, shuffling closer to Yongguk and basking in his warmth. He placed a soft kiss to the centre of Yongguk's bare chest before nuzzling his face into said chest and closing his eyes to rest for a little longer.

Yongguk’s deep voice let out a low hum.

“Junhong-ah,” he sang, “my lips are jealous~”

Zelo rolled his eyes, but smiled anyway. Propping himself up on his elbows Junhong could see that Yongguk’s eyes were still closed.

“I’m sorry, Gukkie. Did I wake you up?” he asked. If he didn’t know better, he’d have thought Yongguk was still asleep; he was so still and at peace.

“Mm-mm; I need to get up for work soon, anyway.” he mumbled and shook his head. His eyes fluttered open and instantly searched out Junhong. “But seriously, babe, where’s my kiss?”

Zelo shook his head and made a ‘tsk’ sound.

“You’re so needy.” He teased and leaned in to give Yongguk what he wanted. The elder’s arm came up to wrap around Junhong so he could pull the boy even closer. Yongguk slid his bare leg between Junhong’s, smirking into the kiss as his thigh grazed against his boyfriend’s crotch. Zelo groaned and released Yongguk’s lips, the elder whining at the loss. “No. Like you said, you need to get up soon.”

The songwriter kissed his boyfriend and flipped them so that Zelo’s back was against the mattress and he was trapped between Yongguk’s arms.

“So we’ll be quick.” He offered.

“Yongguk, with us a quickie is _never_ a quickie!” he said. “Besides, we got a little rough last night and I still don’t think I have it in me for a round this morning.”

“Okay baby,” the elder kissed Junhong once more. “And I'm sorry again for last night. Are you feeling alright? How’s your back?”

“Don’t be sorry! I-I liked it.” Zelo flushed an entirely new shade of red. “I'm fine, and as for my back it’s nothing I can’t handle with the help of a couple painkillers.”

Yongguk nodded. “Should I go make us breakfast while you have a shower? I'm sure you need one; you fell asleep before I got a chance to clean you up last night.”

The ramen-haired boy nodded. “Yes please baby.”

Yongguk left a kiss on the tip of his nose. “How does an omelette sound?”

“Wonderful.” Zelo smiled. After one last kiss, Yongguk rolled out of bed and walked, stark nude, to the kitchen. Junhong bit his lower lip and smirked at the sight of his hot boyfriend. Once he was alone in the room, he got out of the comfortable bed and into the shower, washing away what remained of the previous night.

After he’d dressed and styled his hair for the day, he headed for the kitchen (only stopping to put his phone in his pocket, more out of habit than anything else) where he found his completely naked boyfriend serving up an omelette onto a plate that had a side of cherry tomatoes and a glass full of apple juice beside it along with two small painkillers.

Junhong smiled gratefully at Yongguk. His heart never failed to do backflips when his boyfriend did such sweet things. He often still found it hard to believe that someone like Yongguk had fallen for him, but the latter always found some way to make him believe it, even if only briefly.

“You know,” Yongguk said as he looked Junhong up and down, “I'm kinda disappointed to see you in clothes.”

Junhong shrugged. Yongguk was confident in his body and completely comfortable walking around their house unclothed, Zelo on the other hand was barely comfortable walking around without a shirt.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m ninety-nine percent sure that I won’t be wearing clothes later tonight.” He said and casually swallowed the painkillers with a mouthful of apple juice.

Yongguk smirked. “I don’t know, I think those odds are too low for me.”

“Ninety-nine point nine percent?” he countered.

The nude man leaned over the counter, his lips dangerously close to Junhong’s.

“I like to be absolutely certain about these things.” He whispered in a low voice.

“Is that so?” the younger boy responded, trying to keep his voice even.

“Mm-hmm. So can you guarantee that, later tonight, I get to tear those tight little jeans off your delicious body?” Yongguk’s voice had taken on a seductive tone that nearly made Junhong regret denying his earlier offer.

He swallowed the thick lump in his throat and nodded wordlessly.

Yongguk smiled.

“Good.” He announced, springing away from the tempting teen before him and shoving a large amount of his omelette into his mouth.

“Yah!” Zelo exclaimed with a pout. “That was mean you tease! You could’ve at least kissed me.”

Yongguk couldn’t help but chuckle.

“I’m sorry baby.” He apologised and reached over the bench again, one hand going to the back of Junhong’s neck and pulling him into a passionate kiss. The blonde eagerly kissed back, only breaking apart when he felt Yongguk’s tongue prodding his lips. Yongguk grumbled. “You always stop just when it’s getting good.”

Zelo let out a snort of laughter. “That’s not what you thought last night when I was sucking yo-”

“We don’t need to discuss that right now.” Yongguk said, making Junhong feel smug because _he_ was the one blushing this time. “I need to get ready for work; will you be okay here by yourself?”

“Yes, Yongguk. You ask me that every day.” The younger complained, although inside it made him feel all warm and fuzzy.

“Because I want you to be safe and happy every day.” The elder replied.

“I’ll probably just call Youngjae hyung or Jongup hyung. I'm sure one of them will hang out with me today.”

“Okay babe.” Yongguk said as he walked around the counter. He kissed Junhong’s forehead tenderly, feeling the younger lean into it.

The songwriter than left the kitchen and when Junhong heard water running, he pulled out his phone. He pressed number 2 on speed-dial (Yongguk was number 1 now) and held the phone to his ear.

“ _Hello_?”

“Youngjae hyung! Hello!”

“ _Hey Junhong-ah. What’s up?”_

“Nothing, I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out today when Gukkie goes to work.”

“ _I’d love to, but maybe not until this afternoon if that’s cool? I'm actually out shopping with Daehyun right now.”_ He said and as if on cue, Junhong heard Daehyun’s voice. “ _-Youngjae, do you want vanilla or caramel flavour? – Daehyun, I already told you; I want nothing to do with this! – But it’s_ your _butt that-”_

Junhong grimaced and held the phone away from his ear. “Hyung, it sounds like I’ve interrupted something…important.”

“ _No, you haven’t!”_

“You sure? Because it sounds to me like you’re, um, sex shopping.” He said and heard Youngjae face-palm.

“ _We aren’t I swear! We’re actually just going shopping for groceries and general stuff like that when Daehyun thought it’d be a great time to buy lube, like we don’t already have enough of it. The pervert likes to buy in bulk._ ”

Junhong let out a loud laugh. “Okay hyung. I’ll let you get back to your pervert – mine’s about to get out of the shower. Let me know when you’re free to hang out though!”

“ _I will Zelo. See-ya.”_

• • • • • •

“Do you need anything before school starts Jae? Pens, paper, textbooks, a new calculator?” Daehyun asked, reminding Youngjae of the impending hell that was his senior year of high school.

The school year was starting in a week and Youngjae was dreading it. He was bullied all of his previous high school years and while now that he was living with Daehyun he didn’t have to endure abuse at home, he was afraid that he’d have to put up with it at school again and he would spiral into a depression too deep for Daehyun to pull him back.

“I think I have most of it at my parents’ house.” Youngjae told him.

Daehyun frowned; he didn’t want Youngjae to have to go back there for anything.

“In that case, we need to go shopping for school supplies too.” He said, an arm snaking around his boyfriend as they walked.

“No; in that case, I have even more reason that I need to go see my parents soon.” He said.

“Jae Jae, you know I don’t want to tell you what to do, but please think really hard about going back there; it could end so badly and I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you.” Daehyun said, his eyes staring deep into Youngjae’s.

The latter gave him a soft smile and brought their lips together. Daehyun’s arms wrapped around Youngjae, holding him flush against his body.

“I love that you care so much, but it really is something I have to do. I’ve put it off long enough and I can’t back out again.” He said.

Daehyun sighed; there was no point arguing with this boy.

“Okay, but promise me that when you go you’ll take me with you?”

Youngjae nodded. “I don’t think I’d be able to go without you, even if I wanted to.”

Daehyun nodded. “Good.”

Youngjae opened his mouth to speak, but something he noticed on a pin-board behind Daehyun stopped the words in his throat. With wide eyes, he approached the board and pulled down the paper that had caught his attention.

“Jae baby? What is it?” Daehyun asked, approaching Youngjae. His jaw dropped when he saw what the other boy was holding.

On the paper was a picture of Youngjae that looked to be taken close to two years ago, and the heading in bright red, bold letters read; **MISSING! YOO YOUNGJAE!**


	3. Chapter 3

The ride home was a silent one. Youngjae was too upset, too confused and scared, to speak. Daehyun respected that and didn’t push the subject, but he couldn’t help but wonder what was going through the younger’s mind.

“So…does this mean your parents are looking for you?” Dae asked his pale-faced boyfriend as they finished up putting away the groceries.

“Yes,” he breathed out, “But why?!”

“Maybe…Maybe after all this they really care?” Daehyun suggested. Youngjae shot him the coldest glare he’d ever seen in his life. Daehyun shot him an apologetic look and recoiled. Seeing his boyfriend’s hurt look, Youngjae softened; he didn’t need to take his anger out on Daehyun when the elder hadn’t done anything wrong.

“Dae,” he sighed. “I’m sorry. I'm not mad at you, I'm just…overwhelmed.”

“I know.” Daehyun said softly. A hand came up to cup Youngjae’s face, his thumb lovingly stroking his cheekbone. Youngjae leaned into the touch, his eyes closing.

“Did I ever tell you why I'm scared of storms?” he asked. When Daehyun shook his head, Youngjae continued. “One day when I was eight, I was walking home from school and it started to rain. When I got home the front door was locked and I had forgotten my key. I knocked on the door; it was freezing, I was getting pelted with rain and thunder had started rumbling. My dad eventually opened the door after I stood outside in the rain banging on the door for nearly twenty minutes. He asked where my key was and when I told him I had forgotten it, he closed the door again and locked it. He didn’t care that it was nearly hailing, or that the thunder was so loud the windows shook, or that the lightning nearly struck the light pole beside our house; I had to learn my lesson for forgetting my key. So I was locked outside, in a storm, until six the next morning.”

His voice was shaking by the end of his story, but not from fear or sadness, but anger. He spent so much time fearing those people, now the only thing he felt toward them was hate.

Without a word or a second thought, Daehyun pulled Youngjae to him. He wrapped his arms around him and buried his face into Youngjae’s smooth neck, pressing small kisses here and there.

“I didn’t know, baby. I'm sorry they did that to you.”

“Daehyun,” Jae mumbled into his boyfriend’s warm chest. “Please…can you take me there again? I need my clothes and my school things and I need to know what’s going on with this ‘missing’ thing.”

“I don’t want you getting hurt, Jae.” Daehyun said.

“And I don’t want to _get_ hurt, but this is something I need to do; and I know I've said that a lot lately, but it’s more important now than ever.” He said, breaking away from Daehyun’s firm hold.

“I know you’ll say you’ll be fine but if something bad happens I don’t know what I’ll do.”

“If they hurt me, we’ll leave.” The other boy said as though it resolved each and every worry Daehyun had about this visit.

Knowing it was pointless to argue with Youngjae, he did the only thing he could do; he agreed.

He knew nothing good would come of this confrontation, but he also knew that Youngjae was stubborn enough to go through with it with or without Daehyun’s blessing. He may not have been on board completely, but he’d rather be there with his Jae than have the younger go alone to see the people that abused him.

Leaning forward, Youngjae’s lips met Daehyun’s. The elder kissed him back desperately, an attempt to show Youngjae how much he meant to Daehyun. Youngjae’s arms locked around Daehyun’s neck, his fingers playing with the ends of his hair while Daehyun gripped his boyfriend’s hips and held him close.

Breathlessly, Youngjae managed to push himself away from his boyfriend, who groaned at the loss.

“I was enjoying that.” He pouted.

Youngjae smiled weakly. “Sorry Dae, but there’s something else we need to do.”

• • • • • •

“Youngjae, are you _absolutely sure_ you want to go through with this?” Daehyun asked as he parked the car at the corner of the street.

Youngjae huffed. “Daehyun I know you’re worried, but _please_ stop asking me that! If you don’t want to come, fine, but I'm going whether or not you like it.”

Daehyun gripped Youngjae’s hand.

“There is no way on earth I'm letting you go alone, got that?” Dae said sternly. Youngjae nodded, internally smiling from Daehyun’s concern. The elder brought his boyfriend’s hand to his lips, kissing it quickly. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Youngjae said.

Taking a deep breath, he got out of the car, followed by Dae, and headed for the front door. The walk only took about thirty seconds, but it felt like thirty years to Youngjae. He was growing less and less confident with each step. His hatred was fading away and his fear returning.

With Daehyun’s hand clasped in his own, he raised his fist and rapped on the door. The ten seconds that Youngjae and Daehyun stood there before the door opened seemed to last a lifetime for the younger of the two.

Daehyun wasn’t sure what he was expecting Youngjae’s father to look like; dirty clothes, a beard, maybe even some rotten or crooked teeth and reeking of stale cigarettes and beer. Really, he was expecting anything other than a tall, fit man in light blue, iron-pressed jeans and a white pinstripe button-up top. His hair was parted neatly and his face was clean shaven. To Daehyun, he looked like any other casual businessman.

When the man saw Youngjae, he didn’t smile, he didn’t glare; in fact he didn’t even bat an eyelid.

“Youngjae,” he said like he was expecting his so-called ‘missing’ son to arrive at his doorstep. He cast a glance at Daehyun. “Who is this?”

Youngjae visibly gulped. Daehyun noticed and was immediately worried about his angel.

“This is Daehyun. He’s the friend I’ve been staying with.” Youngjae said.

Daehyun frowned for a second as he heard the word ‘friend’. Wasn’t he much, much more than that? If you included the dreams (which Daehyun did) they’d been together for nearly five months now; wasn’t that long enough to be classed as ‘boyfriend’? Still, he didn’t want to cause Youngjae any unnecessary drama so he stayed quiet.

“Kyungjae!” Youngjae’s mother’s voice screeched from inside. This alone told Youngjae that she was drunk. Suddenly, a woman appeared behind Youngjae’s father. “Who is her-” her sentence broke off into a glare. She grabbed Youngjae’s wrist and yanked him inside.

Daehyun fumed. How _dare_ she touch him like that? He pushed past Kyungjae and entered the house. Silently, Kyungjae closed the front door and joined the others in the living room where a half-empty beer bottle was waiting for him beside a dirty ash tray.

As Youngjae stood there, cowering under the ferocity of his mother’s glare, Daehyun wanted nothing more than to hold Youngjae, or at least his hand, and take away his fears. He couldn’t do that though; Youngjae had said Dae was his friend, so that’s how he would act.

“Youngjae, where _the hell_ have you been the last two months?!” she all but screamed right in his face. Daehyun’s eyes narrowed into angry slits at the lady.

“I’ve been staying with Daehyun.” He said simply, watching from the corner of his eye as his father took a large swig of the beer.

Youngjae’s mother looked Daehyun up and down.

“And what business does my son have staying with someone like you?” she spat.

“What do you mean ‘ _like him’_?” Youngjae angrily replied before Daehyun got the chance to.

She ignored his comment and continued her assault. “Do you know what it’s been like while you’ve been gone? The water and the electricity have both been cut off; there’s barely any food in the cupboard; the house has been a mess-”

“So _that’s_ why you’re looking for me? Because you and dad can’t fend for yourself?” Youngjae let out a bitter laugh.

“Don’t talk to your mother that way!” Kyungjae boomed, pointing a threatening finger at his son.

Said boy grabbed Daehyun’s wrist. “Come on, Dae.”

He dragged the elder to his old bedroom. The first thing he saw was the corner by the window; the corner where he’d tried to commit suicide. If he looked close enough, he could still see some of his blood that hadn’t quite been cleaned properly.

“Are you okay?” Daehyun asked. He knew he wasn’t, but he didn’t want to press if Youngjae didn’t want to talk about it.

“I’m fine.” Youngjae said and tore his gaze away from that corner.

He kneeled down beside his old, tattered bed and pulled an old brown suitcase out from under it. Placing the case on the bed, he started to pack his essentials.

Daehyun looked around the room; it was smaller than any room Daehyun had seen before with a set of drawers, a single bed that looked like it was a prison reject, and a broken mirror hanging on the wall. Daehyun wondered how Youngjae could live here, then remembered what happened when the younger realised he couldn’t.

He looked longingly at Youngjae as the boy packed. His eyes were cold and his mouth was set in a stern line, yet his hands were shaking. He took a couple of steps toward Jae and took his wrists in his hands as the younger shoved more clothes into the case. His movements halted when he felt Daehyun’s warm fingers encase his arms.

“Youngjae,” he said quietly. “ _Are you okay_?”

Slowly, Youngjae turned his head to look at Daehyun and the moment their gazes locked, Youngjae let out a soft sob. Without hesitation, Daehyun pulled him into his arms, encasing Youngjae in a firm cage and pressing kiss after kiss to the crown of his head. Youngjae continued to sob, the gut-wrenching sounds only muffled by Daehyun’s shoulder. Daehyun stroked Youngjae’s back soothingly until his cries died down to small sniffles. Lifting his head off of Daehyun’s shoulder, his eyes searched the elder’s to find they were full of love and nothing but.

Taking Youngjae’s head in his hands, he pressed a chaste kiss to Youngjae’s lips. The kiss was salty from Youngjae’s tears, but the sweet taste of Youngjae was stronger to Daehyun’s senses. A loud bang made them spring apart, and Daehyun spun around to see Kyungjae had kicked the door open.

“So,” he said, cigarette in hand as he looked between the two boys. “This is what you’ve been doing the past couple of months? Shacking up with some faggot?”

“Don’t call him that!” Youngjae screamed, his tears returning.

“Why not, huh?! It’s what he is! Now he’s turned you into one too!” he yelled.

“You have no right to speak to Youngjae like that!” Daehyun interjected.

Kyungjae’s eyes shot daggers at him, but he ignored Daehyun’s comment. He pointed to Youngjae.

“Get here. _Now_.” His voice was cold and menacing, and it sent a chill up Daehyun’s spine.

With a scared gulp, Youngjae did as he was told.

“I didn’t raise you to be a fag; it’s an illness!” he said. “So I guess I’ll have to burn the gay out of you.”

Before Youngjae could react, Kyungjae’s cigarette was heading for Youngjae’s skin. Daehyun, afraid for his boyfriend’s safety, yanked the back of Youngjae’s shirt and pulled him out of the way just in time for the cigarette to come into contact with the skin of Daehyun’s collarbone.

“Daehyun!” Youngjae screamed at the same time Daehyun yelped in pain.

Kyungjae growled but didn’t have time to speak before Dae swung his fist at his face. The punch connected with Kyungjae’s jaw with a loud crack and Daehyun knew he had broken something, yet that didn’t stop him from then pouncing on the older man and swinging more hits at him.

“Daehyun, stop!” Youngjae cried out. He knew that Daehyun was only protecting him, but violence terrifies him and Daehyun knows that.

The Busan man didn’t hear him over the blood rushing in his ears. He was seeing red; this man tried to burn Youngjae! No one gets to blemish that flawless skin, no one gets to hurt his Jae, no one gets to make him suffer without being made suffer at the hands of Daehyun in return.

“Please stop! Daehyun!” Youngjae cried out, his broken sobs returning as he watched the man he loves beat the man of his nightmares. He had never seen Daehyun this angry and now knowing it exists scares him more than anything.

Daehyun looked down at the man below him; his face broken and bleeding, tears pooling in his eyes as he let out shallow breaths. His fists were still flying.

Scared, Youngjae approached Daehyun and grabbed the elder’s arm to stop him. “Dae!”

He expected to be hit by accident out of Daehyun’s utter rage, but instead the elder immediately calmed and got off of Kyungjae. He took Youngjae’s suitcase from the bed in one hand, and in the other he took his boyfriend’s smaller hand. He pulled them out of the room, out of the house and away from those monsters.

He put the suitcase in the back seat of the car and closed the door before leaning back against it. He took a few deep breaths and wiped the tears from his eyes that had formed due to the pain he felt from the circular burn in his chest.

“I’m sorry, Youngjae.” He muttered, turning to face the younger boy. He felt horrible; Youngjae hates fighting and anger, yet Daehyun had nearly beaten someone to death right in front of him.

Youngjae nodded.

“I think I'm going to stay at Junhong’s tonight.” He said, not bothering to wipe away the tears that were running down his face as he knew they would keep coming.

Daehyun scrunched his eyes closed to force back more tears; one of them had to be strong right now.

“Okay,” he said. He didn’t want to fight with Youngjae. “I’ll drop you off.”

He opened the passenger side door for his Jae, gesturing for him to get in. With a sad (and, if Daehyun saw correctly, fearful) glance at the elder, Youngjae slid into the back seat.

Daehyun sighed and got in the car. They didn’t speak because for the first time since they’d met, they didn’t know what to say that could make the other feel any better.


	4. Chapter 4

Junhong lay in his boyfriend’s arms, curling into his side with a tired sigh.

“Gukkie, I don’t know what to do!” he exclaimed. He could hear Youngjae’s quiet cries coming from the spare room and it broke his heart in two. Zelo decided a long time ago that he never wanted to hear his best friend crying again and when his hyung found Daehyun, he didn’t think he ever would.

This was the second night that Youngjae had been staying with them and while Junhong’s best friend was always welcome, he was there for all the wrong reasons. He and Daehyun needed to talk and work this all out.

“Me neither baby,” Yongguk said and kissed Junhong’s forehead. “The last time I saw Daehyun lose his temper was-”

“At the hospital, right? When the nurse tried to make him leave Youngjae and he called her an ‘ignorant bitch’,” Junhong let out a small chuckle. “It’s actually kinda funny, thinking back on it now.”

Yongguk’s lips twitched up in a smile.

“It is.” He agreed.

“Maybe you could talk to Dae? Maybe he just needs to understand why Youngjae is so scared.” The curly-haired boy asked.

“Or maybe _you_ could talk to him?” the songwriter asked. Junhong opened his mouth to protest, but Yongguk hushed him with a kiss. “Just hear me out, okay? Daehyun may be my best friend, but right now he needs to talk to someone who speaks Youngjae. I don’t, but you do. I can talk to Youngjae because I happen to be fluent in Daehyun-speak. Did that make any sense at all?”

“Surprisingly, it did.” Junhong said. He lid one of his legs between Yongguk's, locking their limbs together as he clung to his boyfriend like a sloth to a tree. “It’ll have to wait until morning, though; it’s a bit late for an intervention right now.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Yongguk said, gazing down lovingly at his boyfriend. Junhong looked tired, he noticed, tired and worn down. There were bags under his eyes that he hadn’t seen for a long time. “Junnie are you okay? Did you eat properly today?”

Zelo nodded. “I did.”

The songwriter’s hand cupped Junhong’s face, his thumbs caressing the dark marks under his love’s eyes.

“You look unwell.”

Concealing a smile, Junhong pressed their lips together. “I'm just worried about Youngjae and Daehyun hyungs. They need each other; that much is obvious.”

Yongguk nodded and pulled the younger boy closer to him, the two falling into a comfortable sleep together while off in another room Youngjae cried himself to sleep, whispering a song Daehyun used to sing to him, and in an apartment somewhere, Daehyun was rolling around in an empty bed and wishing the boy he loved was there to fill in the space.

When Yongguk woke the next morning, Junhong was already gone. The elder assumed he had gone to talk to Daehyun already, so Yongguk thought he would get onto his duty and have a chat with Youngjae. After washing his face, brushing his teeth and hair and changing out of his pyjamas, Yongguk knocked on the door to the spare room.

“Youngjae-ssi?” he said softly in case Youngjae was still sleeping.

Yongguk heard the sniffles when Youngjae tried to stop his tears, but he decided not to say anything about it.

“Neh?” came the response from behind the door.

“It’s Yongguk,” he said, and wanted to slap himself for being so ridiculous; of course it was Yongguk! His voice was very distinctive. “I, uh, can I come in and talk to you for a moment?”

There was no response for a minute as Youngjae contemplated his request, and then the knob twisted and the door opened. Youngjae sat on the edge of the bed and Yongguk sat beside him.

“What did you want to talk about hyung?” he asked.

‘ _Don’t say Daehyun_.’ He thought. ‘ _Don’t say Daehyun. Don’t say Daehyun. Don’t say-_ ’

“Daehyun.”

‘ _Damn it!_ ’

“What about him?”

Yongguk shrugged. Honestly, he hadn’t thought that far ahead.

“I guess I just wanted to let you know that he only meant to protect you and that he misses you.”

“I know that.” Youngjae looked away from Yongguk, too ashamed to face the best friend of the man he was currently hurting. “But I’ve screwed it all up by running away, haven’t I? That’s why he hasn’t tried to talk to me, right?”

Yongguk let out a soft chuckle, causing Youngjae to look up at him with a confused frown.

“No, Youngjae you couldn’t be more wrong,” he assured. “Daehyun isn’t the kind of person to pester someone he loves after he’s hurt them. He gives them time. Remember when you woke up and asked him to go away and give you time?” Youngjae nodded. He was so stupid back then to think he could deny the things he felt for Daehyun. “Well he planned to stay gone until you asked him to come back, that was until you were nearly released into your parents’ custody and he felt like he _had_ to come back to keep you safe, because he loves you so much he’d rather you be upset with him than be unsafe. Well that’s what he’s doing now. He knows he’s scared you, so he’s giving you space and letting you stay gone until you want him back.”

Youngjae said nothing and so Yongguk, having said everything he could, stood up to leave the room. He didn’t stop until he was about to close the door and heard Youngjae’s small, innocent voice.

“And what if I want him back now?” he looked up at the songwriter with big, doe eyes. “What do I do?”

Yongguk smiled a bright, knowing, gummy smile. “You go get him.”

The songwriter then left the room, closing the door softly and letting Youngjae stew in his thoughts.

Youngjae sighed. Bang Yongguk may not speak much, but when he does he sure knows the right thing to say.

• • • • • •

Daehyun woke to find his face pressed into a soft grey pillow. Blinking open his eyes, he looked at his bed and realised that sometime during the night he had grabbed Youngjae’s pillow and was cuddling it close to his chest, arms around it in a vice-like grip. Resting his head on the pillow, he realised it still smelled like Youngjae. Inhaling deeply, he closed his eyes and, for just a moment, allowed himself to imagine it was Youngjae back in his arms.

His daydream was broken by a knock at the front door. Reluctantly, he dragged himself out of bed with only the thought that it could be his Jae to motivate him.

“Unless your name is Yoo Youngjae, please leave me alone.” He called through the door. He wasn’t in the mood to talk to people that weren’t his angel.

Zelo, who was on the other side of the door, couldn’t help but feel sorry for his friend.

“Sorry hyung, but it’s actually Zelo.” He said.

Daehyun slumped. “Go away, Junhong.”

“That’s not gonna happen,” he said stubbornly before politely adding; “hyung.”

“You’re wasting your time then.” He said and shuffled glumly back to his room.

Junhong, upon hearing his retreating footsteps, glared at the door and pulled out the key that Yongguk had given him.

‘ _Sorry, Dae_.’ he thought as he let himself into the apartment.

When he got to Daehyun’s room, he found the elder hidden under a pile of blankets, his face buried in what Junhong assumed to be Youngjae’s pillow. He felt sorry for Daehyun, but he knew that this was all just a misunderstanding.

“Get up hyung. I'm going to make you some tea, and then we’re going to talk; neh?” he said, leaving the room to make Daehyun a hot, calming drink. When he got back, steaming mug in his hand and Daehyun in the same place as when he left. “Yah! Hyung! I told you to get up!”

“And _I_ told _you_ you’re wasting your time.” Daehyun’s muffled response came.

With a huff, Junhong sat the mug on the bedside table closest to Daehyun. Softly glaring at the elder, Junhong placed a hand on his hip and used the most immature tactic yet, though he was out of other options.

“I’ll tell Gukkie you were mean to me.” He threatened. There was a pregnant pause, and then Daehyun’s head poked up from under the sheets.

“You wouldn’t.”

“I would.” He shot back. “Now, are you going to let me talk to you? Or would you rather waste more time alone when you could have Youngjae back home?”

With a pout, Daehyun sat up. “I want my baby to come home.”

“That’s what I thought.” Junhong said, taking a seat on the bed. The teen gestured toward the tea, which Daehyun in turn took a large gulp of. The hot drink soothed his throat that was dry from crying. “Okay, so from what Youngjae hyung has told me I know this much; you both went to see his parents, things got bad and you ended up getting hurt by saving Youngjae…and then you started to beat up Youngjae’s dad?”

Daehyun folded his arms over his chest. “And I don’t regret it; he hurt Youngjae countless times and then he tried to _burn him_ with a _cigarette_!”

Zelo gasped. Youngjae hadn’t gone into detail about what happened (it was hard to even manage a sentence between the wails) but Zelo didn’t realise it was that bad.

“Wait…he burnt him?!”

“He tried, but I got Jae out of the way and took the blow.” The Busan boy told him, pulling down on his collar to reveal the small circle of burnt skin.

“Daehyun I'm sorry,” he said, looking down. “I don’t blame you for what you did to that bastard, but you have to understand that any violence scares Youngjae; he’s been around so much of it in his life.”

“I know,” the elder nodded. “I know that, I do! I just…it was like I just blacked out in rage. The only thing going through my head was that I wanted to hurt the man that had caused Youngjae so much pain that he even tried to end his own life. I don’t know what would’ve happened if Youngjae hadn’t stopped me. All he had to do was touch me and it was like everything, my whole world, was only him. I didn’t want to upset him; I want to protect him.”

“Hyung, _I_ know that, and I think that Youngjae does too, at least he does now. At first he was just scared of seeing you like that. So aggressive, like his parents are. I talked to him, though, and I think he knows that you aren’t going to hurt him but he’s so scared of rejection he thinks he’s lost you because at first he _was_ so scared.”

“But he hasn’t lost me!” Daehyun exclaimed, wide-eyed. “He still has me! All he has to do is say my name and I’ll be there. Zelo I love him!”

Zelo smiled. “I know, but it’s not me you have to tell, hyung. It’s Youngjae.”

“Okay; I will! Junhong, take me to my angel!” he exclaimed, throwing the blankets off of him with a dramatic gesture. Junhong cringed.

“Dae, you might want to take a shower first.” He suggested. Daehyun smiled sheepishly and scratched the back of his neck.

“Good idea.”

“I’ll go home first,” the ramen-haired boy said. “I’ll take Gukkie out somewhere so you and Jae hyung can have some privacy.”

“Thank you, Junhong.” Daehyun said with a polite bow of his head right before he enveloped the boy in a hug.

Zelo laughed, and then scrunched up his nose and pushed Daehyun away. “Hyung, you stink! Go wash yourself.”

Daehyun laughed and saluted him. They bid their goodbyes and Junhong left as Daehyun was turning on the shower.

The man from Busan stepped into the shower. He basked in the hot water running over his body like it was washing away all of his worries and doubts of his and Youngjae’s relationship. He didn’t doubt that they loved each other more than anything, but would Youngjae be able to forgive him? He washed his dark locks, closing his eyes and imagining they were Youngjae’s hands massaging the shampoo in as he remembered all their shared showers.

Not knowing how long he’d been in the shower, he turned off the water and started looking for something nice to wear when he wins Youngjae back. He had only gotten as far as a light blue pair of skinny jeans when the doorbell rang. With the idea that it was just Junhong again, he tossed his towel over the bathroom door and didn’t bother putting on a shirt before he answered the door.

Dae’s eyes grew wider and his heart beat faster when he opened the door. Standing before him, suitcase clutched in one hand and the other balled into a nervous fist, was a teary eyed Yoo Youngjae.

“Hi, Dae,” he greeted with a small sniffle. “Is it okay if I come home now?”


	5. Chapter 5

Daehyun’s heart melted at the sight before him. Without a word he held out his arms which Youngjae gladly ran into. Daehyun’s arms closed firmly around Youngjae. He could feel Youngjae’s shoulders shake as he lightly wept into Daehyun’s chest. The elder pressed a kiss to the top of the crying boy’s head.

“Shh, it’s okay Jae-ah. It’s all okay.” His soothing voice whispered as a hand stroked Youngjae’s hair.

The younger looked up at him through wet eyes. “I'm sorry Daehyun. I'm so sorry, I was stupid!”

“So was I.” Dae responded with a small smile. His eyes searched Youngjae’s before he let them wander to the younger’s lips for a brief second. Understanding what Daehyun wanted, and wanting it so badly himself, Youngjae reached up to kiss the elder.

Daehyun didn’t hesitate to kiss back, pulling Youngjae even closer to eliminate any and all space between their bodies. His tongue swiped at Youngjae’s lips; he hadn’t kissed this gorgeous creature in two days and he had a lot of time to make up for. Youngjae parted his lips, granting Daehyun’s muscle entrance to his wet cavern. Daehyun’s tongue traced every inch, re-acquainting himself with Youngjae’s mouth. Youngjae let Daehyun dominate the kiss, he just wanted to feel the elder and let Daehyun shower him with love.

Youngjae ran his arms over Daehyun’s bare shoulders, earning a content hum in return. Daehyun’s mouth left Youngjae’s to kiss his jaw and neck.

“Daehyunnie~” Youngjae half-whispered, half-moaned. The delicious sound went straight to the tent forming in Daehyun’s pants.

Daehyun’s hands found Youngjae’s hips, squeezing lightly as the younger let out another soft moan. His hands slid up Youngjae’s shirt, his fingers feeling the smooth skin of the younger’s sides. His lips left the creamy skin of Youngjae’s neck only long enough to remove the younger boy’s shirt and throw it carelessly onto the couch. His lips re-found Youngjae’s Adam’s apple, sucking gently.

“I love you, Dae.” Youngjae said softly, eyes closed in bliss. Call it heat of the moment but it was true. Youngjae loved Daehyun like he never thought it was possible to love someone.

One of Daehyun’s large, slightly calloused hands came up to caress Youngjae’s cheeks.

“And you have no idea how much I love you too, Jae.” He replied and pressed a chaste kiss to Youngjae’s lips. Breaking away from the younger, he walked to the door and brought in Youngjae’s suitcase – which had been sitting in the doorway – and closed the front door.

He turned back to Youngjae and the younger didn’t miss the hint of lust in those love-filled eyes of his boyfriend’s. With a caring smile, Daehyun scooped Youngjae up into his arms and carried his angel to their bedroom. Gently, he placed Youngjae down on the bed. His legs between Youngjae’s, his forearms against the mattress on either side of Youngjae’s head to hold himself up, Daehyun hovered over Youngjae. He took the time to admire Youngjae’s now-blushing face, his gaze tracing each and every feature from the dip between his eyebrows, to the tip of his button nose, to the cheekbones that weren’t too prominent but gave his face the perfect shape, to those plump, heart shaped lips he loved to kiss.

“A-Are you just going to stare at me all night?” the boy being observed stuttered out, a hint of red showing on those perfect cheeks.

“Hmm,” Daehyun hummed, his eyes travelling back to Youngjae’s deep brown ones. “That actually doesn’t sound like a bad idea.”

Youngjae bit his lip and looked away in embarrassment, but Daehyun was having none of it as he used his fingertips to turn Youngjae to face him again. Their eyes locked again and Youngjae knew with just that look that Daehyun loves him more than life itself. Closing his eyes, Daehyun dipped his head to meet Youngjae’s lips.

It was Youngjae who deepened the kiss this time, his hands travelling to Daehyun’s hair and his tongue slipping past those pillowy lips.

One hand moved down to Youngjae’s jeans, undoing the button and pulling open the zipper. With one hand and trying not to break the kiss, Daehyun pushed Youngjae’s jeans down his legs. Youngjae’s own hands came up to help his boyfriend remove the denim. With a groan, Daehyun detached their lips and got off Youngjae. He sat on his knees toward the end of the bed, his eyes raking over Youngjae’s half-naked body. Seeing his boyfriend getting uncomfortable, Daehyun quickly removed the jeans that were now sitting at Youngjae’s mid-thighs. Once they were gone, Daehyun let himself appreciate Youngjae’s long legs before pressing a kiss to one of his glorious thighs.

He peppered more kisses to the waistline of Youngjae’s briefs, his fingers hooking over the top and pulling them down along those beautiful legs. Daehyun was finding it hard to focus on anything but the thought of those legs hooked over his shoulders as he buried himself into Youngjae, but he somehow managed to push the thoughts to the back of his mind.

He kissed Youngjae’s hips and said boy moaned out his name in delight. He kissed and nipped at the skin around Youngjae’s shaft before he licked a hot stripe up the now-hard length.

“Oh~ Dae!” his shaky voice called out.

Daehyun licked his lips and took Youngjae into his mouth at a torturously slow pace. Youngjae cried out, his hands fisting the bed sheets and spreading his legs wider. Daehyun’s talented tongue swiped at the slit, applying pressure to the head and making Youngjae nearly want to cry from the pleasure he was already feeling. Daehyun could feel Youngjae coming apart beneath him, so he added a hand to his pleasuring. He stroked Youngjae in slow, even strokes. Never speeding up, even when Youngjae was nearly begging him.

His free hand travelled to Youngjae’s round backside. He massaged the soft globe, squeezing every now and then. One of Daehyun’s nimble fingers slid between the firm cheeks, searching for Youngjae’s entrance. When he found the puckered hole, he pushed the digit in gently.

Another string of moans and incoherent mumbles fell out of Youngjae’s mouth. He squirmed as he adjusted to the intrusion and let out a near-scream when the finger found his prostate. The finger slid in and out tenderly, each time teasing Youngjae’s entrance and jabbing his prostate.

“More, please~ Daehyunnie!” he cried, but Daehyun hummed his denial around Youngjae’s member.

Daehyun removed his finger and Youngjae whined, but his whines quickly became mewls as two more filled him. Youngjae scrunched up his face and Daehyun ran his tongue up the sensitive vein in Youngjae’s member to distract the younger. He stretched Youngjae slowly but thoroughly. Youngjae was a writhing mess, unsure how to handle all the pleasure he was receiving.

“Dae – I’m c-close…I need… _ngh_!” he could barely form sentences; his mind was too absorbed with what Daehyun’s mouth and hands were doing to him.

Daehyun knew what it was that Youngjae needed, but still he didn’t pick up his pace. Keeping with his slow but firm strokes to Youngjae’s base, he took more of him into his mouth until he could feel Youngjae’s tip hitting the back of his throat. Youngjae’s breathing quickened and Daehyun sucked harder. Youngjae couldn’t hold on any longer; his toes curled as he shot his load into Daehyun’s mouth, the elder swallowing it all.

The moment he released Youngjae’s length, the latter sat up and pulled him in for a kiss. He could taste himself on the elder, but it was an odd sensation that he was used to by now. Youngjae ran his hands over Daehyun’s chest, stopping when he felt a tiny patch of wrinkled skin. Youngjae frowned.

“I’m sorry, Daehyun. That burn was meant for me.” Youngjae said, caressing the mark with his fingertips.

“I know that, but do you think I was just going to let him hurt you like that? I would take the pain for you one thousand times over if you never get hurt like that again.”

“But Dae-”

“No ‘buts’,” Daehyun said. “This is just my battle wound, Jae. You already have yours; you don’t need any more.”

Daehyun’s hand grabbed Youngjae’s wrist to stop his movements. He turned the arm over so he could see the scars on his angel’s arm. He kissed each one sweetly before kissing Youngjae’s thick lips again.

Youngjae’s hands flew to Daehyun’s jeans, all but tearing off the fabric. Daehyun got off the bed to get (vanilla scented) lube from his bedside table and kick off his jeans. He lathered his shaft with the liquid, making sure to coat it more than enough in order to cause Youngjae as little pain possible.

He climbed back onto the bed, his body on top of Youngjae’s; the younger’s knees pulled tight up to his chest. With one more kiss, Daehyun lined himself up with Youngjae’s entrance. Slowly, he pushed himself in. Youngjae winced at the feeling of being stretched. It didn’t matter how many times they did this; Youngjae would never get used to Daehyun’s size.

Their tongues danced to the familiar tune of their soft moans. One of Daehyun’s hands was wiping away the tears pooling in Youngjae’s eyes, and Youngjae’s hands had tangled themselves in Dae’s hair.

Youngjae pushed his hips forward, trying to swallow more of Daehyun despite the searing pain. He let out a strangled moan when Daehyun entered him fully. Daehyun didn’t move, giving Youngjae time to adjust and relax. When Youngjae rocked his hips, Daehyun took that as his cue to move. He slid out slowly until only the tip was left, and then slid back in equally as slow. He continued this slow pace, torturing Youngjae. The younger could feel every inch of Daehyun as he thrust in and out seemingly in slow motion.

“Dae~ faster p-please!” Youngjae pleaded.

Daehyun shook his head and brought his forehead to Youngjae’s, pecking his button nose.

Tonight, Daehyun was going to take it slow the whole way. Tonight, he would show Youngjae how precious he was to him. So Daehyun continued his tender movements to the soundtrack of shallow breaths, soft moans and cries of each other’s names.

Youngjae wasn’t sure if it was the pure intimacy of it all or the simple fact that it was Daehyun, but he felt that familiar tingle in his stomach that told him he was close to his release. He could tell Daehyun was too and was just trying his hardest not to plunge into the younger.

Daehyun could tell by the way Youngjae was clenching around him that his boyfriend was close to his climax, so he gripped Youngjae’s length in his hand and slowly stroked. It didn’t take long for Youngjae to come undone in Daehyun’s hand, crying the elder’s name to the heavens. Daehyun followed a couple of thrusts later, painting Youngjae’s walls and marking him his.

Tired and panting, they lay on the bed. Youngjae moved to get up and clean them off, but Daehyun took his wrist and yanked him back down onto the bed. Without batting an eyelid, Youngjae happily fell into the elder’s arms and kissed him. Daehyun held Youngjae close, pressing kisses to every inch of his face. Somewhere between sweet nothings, whispered I love yous and chaste kisses, the two fell into a blissful sleep.

• • • • • •

It was a knock at the door that awoke Daehyun. With a groan, he rolled over and ignored it. The knocks became loud bangs and Daehyun realised that whoever was there wasn’t going away any time soon. With a grumble, he got out of the warm bed and slid on his jeans from last night and a random t-shirt from his wardrobe.

“Dae?” Youngjae’s sweet voice asked sleepily. “What are you doing?”

“Someone’s at the door,” he said, crouching down to Youngjae’s eye level and brushing hair out of the beauteous boy’s face. “I’ll go answer it; you go back to sleep jagiya.”

Youngjae nodded and closed his eyes.

Daehyun expected it to be Yongguk or Junhong at the door wanting details about his and Youngjae’s reunion. What he wasn’t expecting was to open the door and find two police officers standing before him. Daehyun frowned.

“Can I help you?” he asked.

“Yes; are you Jung Daehyun?” the taller of the two asked.

“I am. What can I do for you?”

“Dae?” Youngjae’s voice entered the room and Daehyun turned to see his shy boyfriend standing behind him, watching the scene with curious yet worried eyes. Why were there police here? Was it about his parents? Did someone finally have the courage to report them since Youngjae never could?

“Jung Daehyun,” the same officer as before said. “You are under arrest for the kidnapping of Yoo Youngjae and charges of assault against Yoo Kyungjae.”


	6. Chapter 6

Daehyun leaned back against the cool, concrete wall. The cot beneath him squeaked due to his weight against the rusty springs. There were a million thoughts racing through his head; all of them about Youngjae. Was he okay? Where was he staying tonight? Is he in trouble too?

Daehyun would never forget the terrified look the younger wore the last time Daehyun saw him.

_Youngjae watched in horror as they handcuffed Daehyun._

_“Wha- but he didn’t kidnap me!” Youngjae screamed at the officer._

_“Youngjae, it’s okay.” Daehyun said calmly, not wanting Youngjae to get in trouble._

_“No it isn’t! Dae! Why aren’t you doing anything?!” the scared boy exclaimed. Why was Daehyun letting them arrest him for something he didn’t do?_

_“Because I don’t want to make anything worse, okay? Everything will be alright.”_

If he was being honest, Daehyun would admit that when he had told Youngjae that everything would be alright he was completely lying. He had no clue what was going to happen, all he knew was that he didn't want Youngjae to be scared. He wanted to keep Youngjae safe – to keep him happy and healthy. Now, here he was, sitting in a cold, dank jail cell and for what? For helping a boy escape his abusive family and in turn, falling in love with him.

Daehyun let out a sigh as Youngjae's smiling face came to the forefront of his mind. What he wouldn't give for just one more minute to be happy with him.

_A choked sob escaped those heart shaped lips and Daehyun’s face fell. The sound hurt his heart. All he wanted to do was stop Youngjae’s tears. He felt the cop tug him to turn him away from Youngjae._

_“Please can I just talk to him for a second?” Daehyun begged, needing to assure Youngjae before he was taken away._

_The policeman looked back at his partner, who nodded, and then folded his arms over his chest._

_“Talk.” He said with a nod._

_Daehyun shot him a small glare before turning back to Youngjae._

_“Don’t worry, baby. Things are gonna sort themselves out and we’ll be okay; we always are, aren’t we?” he spoke quietly, trying to obtain a small amount of privacy despite being under scrutiny._

_Youngjae nodded, but the look in his eyes betrayed him. Daehyun wanted to reach out and touch the smaller boy, but he couldn’t due to the shackles binding his hands behind his back._

_“You’ll fight it, right? You’ll make them understand that you didn’t kidnap me and what happened with my father was self-defence?” Youngjae spoke equally quiet, if not more so, and the anxiety in his voice made Daehyun’s body ache._

_“Of course Jae-ah. I'm not letting them keep me away from you.” Daehyun said._

_“Alright, that’s enough.” One of the officers said._

_“Wait!” Youngjae suddenly exclaimed. He grabbed Daehyun’s face and kissed his lips quickly; he didn’t know how long it would be until he could do it again._

Daehyun squeezed his eyes closed, but a stray tear managed to escape. He wiped at his face furiously and willed himself not to cry. It was bad enough that he was in a jail cell, he didn't need to start crying too.

Clearly, the cops didn't know about the abuse Youngjae suffered at the hands of _those people_ – his parents. They hadn't seen the jagged, rough lines that marred the otherwise flawless skin of Youngjae's wrists and inner arms. They didn't see the cigarette burn that was engraved into Daehyun's chest, although, he was sure that they wouldn't care – let alone believe him – if they had seen it. He wished so hard that they'd believed that Youngjae was there on his own accord, but they didn't.

Yet, as thoughts swam around in his head – the only company he had in this god forsaken cell – he started to wonder...was he keeping Youngjae against his will? When Junhong had informed Daehyun that Youngjae was being released back to his parents, he hadn't even asked what it was that Youngjae wanted; he simply rushed in, thinking he was saving his damsel, and whisked Youngjae away on his metaphorical white horse. Did Youngjae want to go back home – sure, it may not have been the happiest place for him, but it was familiar, at the very least. Is that what Youngjae needed? Did Daehyun do the wrong thing?

_Daehyun groaned out loud in frustration and ran his hands exasperatedly over his face._

_“For the hundredth time, I didn’t kidnap him; he’s staying with me by choice!” he argued and slammed his cuffed hands down on the table separating him and the officer leading the interrogation._

_The officer wrote something down on his notepad._

_“And you say he’s your boyfriend?” he questioned._

_“Yes.”_

_“How long have you been together?”_

_The question stumped Daehyun. He couldn’t tell him the truth and say months – Youngjae was in a coma then and he was sure they wouldn’t believe the truth. The man looked at him expectantly._

_“Well?”_

_“About six and a half months now; we got together just before Youngjae’s coma.” He lied, managing to stay calm although his insides were twisted._

_“And Mr Yoo can confirm that?”_

_Daehyun nodded, his throat dry. “Yeah.”_

_“Mm-hm,” he added more notes to his paper. Daehyun was curious as to what he was writing on there. “How old are you, Mr Jung?”_

_Daehyun rolled his eyes. “I’m twenty-one.”_

_“And I take it Youngjae is eighteen?”_

_“N-Not yet.” The Busan boy stammered._

_“Have the two of you engaged in intercourse?”_

_Daehyun went bright red. How was that relevant to any of this?!_

_“Y-Yes.” He said with a gulp._

_“I see,” the officer slammed his notebook shut, dropping the pen on_ _the_ _table. “That’ll be all for now. You wait here, there’s a guard right outside that door so don’t even bother trying to escape – I’ll be back soon.”_

He wished that they would _just listen –_ the police. Maybe, from a legal standpoint, Daehyun's relationship with the younger may not have been the most upstanding, but from every other standpoint they were perfect together. The cops didn't know what they were like when they were together. They didn't know about the dreams, or what it was like when Youngjae woke up, or how they've been ever since. Clearly, they didn't know that Daehyun was so in love with Youngjae that it drove him crazy.

_The officer left and with a sigh Daehyun let his head fall into his hands. A few minutes later, he re-entered with two other policemen following behind him._

_“Jung, you’re being held overnight on charges of assault on Yoo Kyungjae and statutory rape.”_

_“What?_ R-Rape _?!” he exclaimed._

_“That’s right.”_

_“But I didn’t rape him! I could never do anything to hurt him! I haven’t ever forced him to do something he wasn’t comfortable with.”_

_“Statutory rape isn’t dependant on consent; it also includes the act of sexual intercourse with an underage party.” He explained and yanked Daehyun up from his seat. Roughly, he spun him around and cuffed Dae’s hands tight at his back. “If you do not make bail, you will be transferred to the Prison of Seoul pending a court date.”_

“What on earth have I gotten myself into?” Daehyun asked out-loud.

Still, as he inhaled deeply the dusty, crisp air, he thought of Youngjae and he didn't regret a single thing.

Daehyun sat up straighter as he heard the shuffling of footsteps approaching. An officer appeared first, and then trailing not far behind him, was Yongguk. Daehyun breathed a sigh of relief just to see a familiar face.

“Yongguk!” Daehyun exclaimed, running up to the bars of the cell. Something hard hit his chest, and Daehyun looked down to see the officer's baton firmly against his sternum.

“That's close enough.” he said, treating Daehyun as though he was some sort of serial killer. The cop removed his baton, and Daehyun grumpily rubbed his chest.

“Hey Dae,” Yongguk greeted, not sure exactly how to feel right now. “How are you, man?”

“I'm fine but how's Youngjae?” he asked immediately. He had to know if Youngjae was alright.

“I'm sorry, but I don't know, I haven't seen him. My first priority was you – and I get that Youngjae is your first priority but don't worry; Junhong is with him right now.” Yongguk told him. It wasn't the answer Dae was looking for, but he appreciated his friend's honesty.

Daehyun nodded, trying to suppress the worry growing in his chest. “Oh...okay. Thanks anyway, I guess.”

“Look, I asked and you only have to spend one night in here and then I can bail you out. First thing tomorrow, you're getting out of here, okay?”

Daehyun wanted to be happy about it, but he didn't know what would happen between he and Youngjae when he did get out. Had Daehyun finally scared him off for good?

“Don't stress too much; you and Youngjae will be fine.” Yongguk told him, but Daehyun recognised the lie – it was the same one he had told Jae.

“Yeah, I know.” sure, it was a lie, but he didn't want Yongguk worrying about him too.

Yongguk nodded, unsure of what to say that would help his best friend.

“Okay boys, times up.” the officer told them and all but pushed Yongguk out of there before he had even the chance to bid Daehyun goodbye.

Daehyun slumped back onto his cot and closed his eyes. While he tried to fall asleep, scenarios of the day to come were playing on a loop in his head.

What felt like hours later, he was drifting into a restless sleep. Before losing consciousness, he whispered a small name into the air, not to be heard by anyone but himself.

“Youngjae.”


	7. Chapter 7

Once he was finished being questioned, Youngjae was led to a chair just outside the interrogation room and told to sit while they went over some of the paperwork. Youngjae sat with his back straight and his chin high, trying to act as though this wasn't getting to him; as though his heart wasn't beating overtime not knowing if Daehyun was going to be okay. In all honesty, all the boy wanted to do was run out of there, although he knew that trying would be pointless, considering that he was being watched by the police from all angles.

He glanced around the station. When Youngjae was younger, he used to imagine what it would be like inside of these places. He'd always known he'd end up here one day but he thought it would've been for vastly different reasons. When he was little and scared, he would just imagine what it would be like when his abusive parents were finally caught. He used to think that they would be put away forever so he could never be hurt again. He had this idea in his head that the police station would be warm and welcoming, like a beacon of hope in this deep, dark tunnel he called his life. He thought he would feel comfortable and safe, but instead he just feels misunderstood and uneasy as he waited to find out whether or not he was going to see the love of his life again.

“Youngjae!” a voice called out, snapping Youngjae out of his reverie. The brunette raised his eyes to the source of the voice, seeing his best friend Junhong walking toward him – accompanied by an officer, of course.

' _God forbid I have a private conversation_.' Youngjae thought with a scoff.

“Hey Junhong.” he greeted with a small, uncertain smile. He didn't want to let Zelo know how he was _really_ feeling because he knew his friend would worry.

The moment the younger boy approached his friend, he threw his arms around him in a tight hug. He knew he couldn't do much to help Youngjae, but the least he could do was try to comfort him since Daehyun wasn't able to right now.

“Do you know what's going on?” He asked, yet not letting go of the boy who practically raised him.

Youngjae shook his head, pulling away from Zelo. “Not yet. They haven't told me _anything!_ ” Youngjae huffed in annoyance.

“Well they have to tell you something at some point, right?” Zelo asked, trying to reassure his friend.

“I don't know,” he said with a sigh. “Probably not; I _am_ a minor after all. That's what got us into this whole mess in the first place, isn't it? My age.”

The younger boy shook his head furiously – he wasn't about to let his friend blame himself for this. “No of course not! This is your parents' fault! All you did was fall in love with someone in a way that is truly inexplainable. You can't help how you feel, no matter how old you are.”

“I know, but I can't help the feeling that I could've done something to stop this from happening. Maybe if I hadn't taken Daehyun back when I woke up...maybe we both could've moved on by now?”

“Youngjae,” Junhong said with a small smile, “if you _really_ think you could go a day without that boy, you're truly crazy.”

Youngjae let out a laugh, knowing that he was right.

“Mr Yoo?” an officer asked, approaching the two. Hopeful, Youngjae turned to him.

“Yes that's me.” He said, looking up at the man.

“At the moment, we have all of the information we need from you. If there's anything else we left out, we will contact you, or you can contact us if there's anything you would like to let us know.” the man said.

“Okay, so what now?”

“Now, I take you home.”

“And what about Dae – I mean Jung Daehyun?” Jae queried. He wasn't going to leave without knowing what was happening to his boyfriend.

“He's not my jurisdiction, but, as far as I'm aware, he's still in questioning and due to be released later this afternoon.”

“Thank you.” Youngjae said, sincerely. He bid goodbye to Junhong, assuring that Yongguk was there to pick him up, before he left the police station.

From the moment they left the station, Youngjae knew that something felt wrong – he just couldn't figure out what it was. There was an uneasy churning in his stomach, a feeling as though someone had reached a hand in and pulled out all of his intestines and whenever he moved, he only felt pure emptiness. He recognised the street they were driving along; at the end of it, there was a fork in the road.

He'd come across this road so many times in his life. He would walk along this street with Junhong when they were going to the skate park after school. Youngjae himself didn't know how to skate, (Junhong had tried to teach him a few times but he could never get the hang of it) but Junhong loved it; it and, of course, rapping were his ways of escaping life so Youngjae would gladly sit and watch Zelo skate for as long as he wanted to. Sometimes Youngjae would be jealous of Zelo when he skated because he knew it made him happy – the only thing that had made Youngjae happy at the time is what landed him in a coma. At the end of the street was a fork in the road, and at that fork Youngjae would always turn left with a heavy, scared heart and slump toward his house where his drunk parents waited.

The street used to cause Youngjae a lifetime of fear and sadness, at least until he met Daehyun. On the other side, to the right of the fork, is where he now lived with Daehyun. Sure, going down this road still brought up a lot of painful memories, but being able to turn away from his parents somehow made Youngjae's chest feel lighter. A smile was tugging on his lips until something made his heart stop. The car turned left.

“Ex-Excuse me?” He got the driver's attention, panicked. “Where are we going? I thought you were taking me home?”

“I am.” The officer told him, a clueless look on his face like he truly didn't know what was wrong.

“But Daehyun and I's house is to the right!” he exclaimed, his heart rate picking up as he neared the place where his nightmares dwelled.

“Oh, no, Youngjae,” he shook his head. “Sorry for the misunderstanding, but I'm not taking you back to Daehyun's house. I'm taking you _home_ ; to your parents.”


	8. Chapter 8

“WHAT?!” Youngjae screeched, looking at the cop as though he'd just grown a second head. “No! You can't take me back there! I-I just got away!”

“I'm sorry Youngjae, but I have to take you home.”

Immediately, Youngjae reached for the door handle, pulling and yanking at it in a desperate attempt to jump out of the car and run far, far away – far from the threat of his parents, far from the person making him go back, and back into Daehyun's arms.

“Why won't it open?!” Youngjae asked, panicked. “Did you kiddie-lock me in? Stop the car! Let me out!”

“Youngjae,” the police man spoke, “have you ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome?” When Youngjae didn't make any move to reply, the man continued. “It's when someone falls in love with their kidnapper.”

The teen sighed. “But that's not what happened; I _chose_ to live with Daehyun. _I_ made that decision myself because I love him, not because he forced me to.”

“Even if that was true, he still broke the law by being with you and you're still underage so technically, you're still in your parent's care.”

Youngjae let out a scoff at the word 'care'. Like they ever cared about anything; let alone him. He wasn't sure they ever even cared about each other – the way they act around each other now makes it hard for Youngjae to even imagine them being civil with each other, let alone in love.

Still, as Youngjae contemplated what the man was saying something slowly dawned on him; he had _ruined_ Daehyun's life. Sure, Daehyun had saved his but Youngjae's life was already this messed up. Youngjae had nothing to lose except for his life, but he'd tried to take that from himself before and it was Daehyun who made him realise it was worth something. Would it still be worth anything if Daehyun hated him? He had, after all, committed a criminal offence by being with the teen boy. This isn't something small like shoplifting, this is something that would be on his permanent record forever. This would affect the elder man's future in ways that neither boy could predict. Would Daehyun still want to be with him when this is all over? Probably not, Youngjae concluded.

Slumping in his seat, Youngjae gave up. What else could he do, anyway?

Honestly, he had thought that going back there wouldn't be so bad this time; he'd survived for 16 years with them, he could do it for another couple of months, right? Youngjae thought that knowing that he'd be eighteen in just two more months – free to be with Daehyun and legally never have to see his parents _ever again_ – would soften the blow, but when the patrol car turned into the familiar driveway and he saw _them_ standing before the front door, he felt bile rise in his throat.

His parents smiled and waved politely to the officer who smiled and waved back. For the first time, Youngjae looked at his parents and, if he didn't know them, he would've never suspected that they could be so cruel, so violent. The problem was that he _did_ know them, so he could see right through their act.

The car came to a full stop.

“Ready to go?” The policeman asked him rhetorically.

With crossed arms and a hard glare, Youngjae replied stubbornly; “take me home.”

The officer sighed.

“I have, Youngjae.” he said before he got out of the car and came around to open Youngjae's door.

With a rapidly sinking heart, Youngjae admitted defeat and stepped out of the vehicle.

Youngjae's mother gasped and called Youngjae's name convincingly as she ran up and engulfed him in a hug that he immediately pushed away. With (fake) tears in her eyes, she looked down at Youngjae, feigning hurt by her sons actions.

“Y-Youngjae, we were so worried about you!” she cried before turning to the officer. “Thank you, thank you _so much_ for bringing him home to us. We were just beside ourselves with worry for our baby boy! Thank you officer...”

“Kang Hyuk Seo, ma'am.” he said with a polite bow.

Youngjae rolled his eyes and pushed past his mother, shoving her aside as he went. He stormed toward his room, all the while planning his escape. He vaguely head his mother say something to the officer about coming to check on him, but he was too furious to pay it much attention. When he reached his bedroom, he slammed the door and fell tired onto his old bed.

Not a moment later, he heard the doorknob turn and his mother entered. He felt the bed shift under her weight. Youngjae sat up abruptly and sat with his arms crossed and a cold glare on his face as he stared at the woman who had helped in making his life hell for all these years.

She smiled a closed-lip smile at him and said, “It's good to have you back, Jae-ah.”

The younger boy felt anger flare up inside him and scoffed at her. “You can stop the act now; the officer can't hear you anymore. I know you weren't really worried about me, you just didn't like not being able to control me. Well guess what? I'm not your little Cinderella anymore!”

Youngjae's mother let out a high pitched laugh that held no humour. “Haven't you figured that out yet, Youngjae? You will _always_ belong to your father and I.”

At the thought of being stuck in this household for his whole life, tears sprung to Youngjae's eyes. What did he do to deserve this life?

“But why?” he asked, cursing his voice for breaking mid-sentence. “Why do you want to keep me locked away here? Because you're so pathetic that you can't fend for yourself? Because you're so horrible that you simply enjoy bringing me pain? Why?!”

“It's quite simple, Youngjae,” she said, standing up from the bed and heading for the door. “Because we _can_.”

With that, she closed the door. Youngjae slumped on his bed and heard the small sound of a key in a lock break the silence – a lock that Youngjae was too mad to notice earlier.

“Yah!” he yelled, leaping up and running to the door. “Hey! Let me out! You can't just keep me in here!”

He screamed and screamed until he could no longer hear his mother's heels _click-clack-_ ing on the floorboards. He let out a frustrated growl and ran to the window, only to find it also bolted shut. With a hopeless sigh, the boy slumped against the window, gazing at the outside world like he'd never see it again, which, knowing his parents, he might not.

Out the corner of his eye, something caught his attention and a dry sob escaped his lips. He felt his heart drop to his stomach as he watched his father pass Officer Kang Hyuk Seo a large wad of cash. The cop smiled and stashed the money in his inside pocket before glancing around him for any prying eyes as he got back in his police car and left the Yoo household.

• • • • • •

Daehyun, although relieved that he had been released from custody, hadn't felt as low as he did now in a long time. He hadn't eaten in a couple of days and he just couldn't find it in him to start now. The police had told him that Youngjae was free to come and see him before being taken back to his parent's house and that he would be brought to Dae's apartment with a police escort some time that afternoon. That was three hours ago now. He had just about given up hope; maybe Youngjae thought it would only be harder on them both if they saw each other and decided not to see Daehyun. Still, Dae wished he had heard something by now.

Daehyun's phone buzzed with a new message and for a second he let himself get his hopes up, just to have them crushed when he saw that it was yet another message from Yongguk.

**_From: Yongguk Hyung  
To: Daehyun Pabo  
Hey Dae, I know you said you wanted to be left alone and I respect that, but I don't want you neglecting your health again either. I've seen you go through a lot for Youngjae and I fully support your relationship, but you still need to eat and sleep and shower. Don't make me come over there! (Just so you know, I'm coming over tomorrow anyway)._ **

Daehyun chuckled to himself at his hyung's message and texted back.

**_From: Daehyun Pabo  
To: Yongguk Hyung  
Thank you, hyung. I'll make sure to take care of myself. See you tomorrow._ **

He threw his phone on the table and let his head hang in his hands. His phone buzzed once again, but he didn't bother checking it this time. At least, not until it buzzed again, and again, and again.

“Aish, hyung, what do you wa-”

**_Incoming call: Unknown Number._ **

Without hesitation, he answered the phone.

“Hello? Youngjae is this you?” he asked. A woman chuckled on the other side.

“ _Not quite,_ Daehyun.” she replied. Her voice sent a shiver down Daehyun's spine.

“W-Who is this?” he asked.

“ _My name is Yoo Jun Su, I'm Youngjae's mother._ ”

Daehyun swallowed the curse words that threatened to spill out of his mouth. Instead, he asked, “Is Youngjae with you? Is he alright?”

“ _That's none of your concern, Jung Daehyun,_ ” she told him. “ _Youngjae is_ my _son and_ I w _ill be the one to decide what's best for him. Not_ you, _not_ him, _but_ me. _He's still young and naïve; he doesn't know what he wants yet so you need to back off and let him decide. Stop influencing his choices with your kind words and promises of love; that's not what he needs. He needs to be with his family and that's_ not you. _Have you got that?_ ”

“Yeah,” Daehyun gulped. “Got it.”

He hung up the phone and slid it in his pocket. Daehyun's heart was screaming at him to ignore her, forget what she said and break Youngjae out of there but his head was telling him something different. His head was telling him that maybe, just maybe, he's not what Youngjae needs.


	9. Chapter 9

Youngjae's stomach growled loudly. He hadn't been given dinner last night and they wouldn't let him near the food this morning, so he was forced to go to school hungry. He didn't mind so much – sure, being with Daehyun he had gotten used to having three meals a day (at the least, it was _Daehyun_ he was living with, after all) but old habits were easy for Youngjae to fall back into.

School brought on a whole load of mixed emotions for Youngjae; he used to think of school as his Heaven and his Hell. On the one had, it was a chance for him to leave the house and his parents, to do something other than cater to them and make their lives easier and more convenient. On the other hand there were the people at school who just weren't content with letting Youngjae keep to himself and thought it their job to pour coffee on his textbooks and 'accidentally' catch his hoodie so that it pulled so tight around his throat that he couldn't breathe.

Still, now that he was back and he had his second chance at life, something not many others get, he was determined not to let it get away. He would study hard and get a good job so that he could finally, _finally_ , be rid of his parents, the students who sought to make him unhappy, this city and anything that reminded him of this part of his life. He would get a job somewhere else, somewhere he and Daehyun could be together and be _happy_.

He knows he still has a ways to go before that could happen so for now he was with his parents – living off of scraps and the hope he had for a better future, just like old times; and, just like old times, Junhong was meeting him at the park. Unlike old times, Yongguk was waiting with him.

Both Youngjae and Junhong had assured Yongguk endlessly that “ _we've done this hundreds of times; we'll be_ fine! _You need to stop worrying like an old man~_ ” but Yongguk was determined to not let them walk alone. After the way he knows they've been bullied in the past and now because of the whole ordeal going on with Youngjae and Daehyun at the moment, he wasn't about to risk something happening to them so he countered their argument on the basis that “ _I'm not worrying like an old man! I'm worrying like a concerned boyfriend! Not to mention Daehyun would kill me if I let anything happen to his 'baby Jae',_ ”. Eventually the teens caved, knowing that Yongguk wouldn't give up and, not that they'd admit it to him, he had some good points.

Junhong had worked some of (what _he_ calls) his Boyfriendly Charm on Yongguk and convinced the elder to drop them off across the road from the school (Yongguk was going to watch from afar to make sure they got in safely, but what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them) on the grounds that he picked them up and drove Youngjae home.

From the moment they walked into the school, eyes were on them. It didn't bother Zelo so much. When Youngjae was in the coma he was used to being stared at; he was that kid whose best friend was bullied so much that he tried to take his own life – and failed. Youngjae however, was _not_ used to this many people watching him. The only times anyone ever paid attention to him was when someone was flushing his head down a toilet or calling him out for being gay in the middle of the school hall. This time though, no one was yelling at him, no one was chasing him, no was was tripping him up, but _everyone_ was aware of him and to Youngjae that was a strange thing.

He could hear the whispers – some people weren't very quiet – and even when he couldn't hear them, he still saw the sneaking glances and fingers pointing in his direction. He noticed the way that conversations stopped when he got closer and the way that people, the same people who used to ignore what was being done to him, smiled as if they were old friends. It was too much. It had barely been one class and it was all _too much_.

Pulling out his phone (and hoping his math teacher wouldn't notice) he sent Junhong a quick text.

**_To: Jello  
From: Jae Umma  
Zelo, I'm not going to be around for lunch. Don't worry though, I'll be back in time for Yongguk to pick us up this afternoon though._ **

Youngjae had never skipped school before, but there was a first time for everything, right? All he knew was that he couldn't stay here.

The moment the bell rang to signal the end of first period Youngjae was out of his seat and headed for the door but for the first time in his school career, he wasn't headed to his next class like he knows he should've been. He didn't even bother checking the reply that Zelo had sent him before he was running out of the school gates and toward the nearest train station.

Daehyun's apartment building was two train rides and a bus trip away from the high school. Altogether, the journey took about 25 minutes, and that was still 25 minutes too long for Youngjae. He was nearly jumping out of his seat the entire time; he was going to see Daehyun again! It had been over a week since Youngjae had last seen his love. Jae knows that might not sound very long to some people, but he would be the first to admit that he was dependent on Daehyun. The elder male was his strength, his happiness, his hope for his future, his one true love. Daehyun had helped him through so much and burrowed his way so far in to Youngjae's heart that he found it hard to cope without the Busan man.

By the time he had made it to Daehyun's door, his heart was hammering hard in his chest and he felt so anxious that he could've passed out right there. Swallowing his nerves, he knocked on the door. It didn't take long for Daehyun to open it and the moment he did, a wide smile stretched onto Youngjae's face and he flung himself into Daehyun's arms.

“Youngjae?!” Daehyun's grip tightened around the younger and in that moment he felt happier than he had all week. “What are you doing here?” He asked, pulling back to face Youngjae. “Jagiya, shouldn't you be at school?”

“I-I am, but I wanted to come and see you. It doesn't matter if I miss just a few classes,” Youngjae said and suddenly, Jun Su's words popped into Daehyun's mind.

_“He's still young and naïve; he doesn't know what he wants yet...”_

Pushing the thought to the back of his mind for the moment, Daehyun nuzzled his face into the crook of Youngjae's neck. Youngjae smiled and held on tighter. Daehyun's lips peppered Jae's neck with light kisses, however the romantic gesture was interrupted by the rumbling of Youngjae's stomach.

Daehyun would've laughed, but he knew that Youngjae's parents might not be feeding him so the humour he might've had in the situation was substituted with concern for his angel. He took a step back and braced his hands on Youngjae's shoulders to look the younger in the eye.

“Jae-ah, when was the last time you had a proper meal?” he asked.

Youngjae tried to look nonchalant, not wanting Dae to worry any more, and shrugged.

“I don't know, but Dae, I don't want food right now,” he said, punctuating the sentence with a peck to Daehyun's smooth cheek, “I just want to spend time with you.”

Youngjae's hands snaked around the back of Daehyun's neck and pulled him into a kiss. When their lips met for the first time in so long, it was like fireworks went off in Daehyun's stomach. _God_ , he had missed this boy, from the way his lithe fingers toyed with the hairs at the back of his neck to the way his lips fit perfectly between Daehyun's own.

“I love you, Daehyunnie,” Youngjae whispered against his lips.

“I love you too, Jae-ah,” he confessed, “more than you know.”

“You'll get me out of there, right?” Youngjae asked, letting his forehead rest against Daehyun's. “We'll find a way to get me away from my parents' so that we can be together, for good.”

_“Stop influencing his choices with your kind words and promises of love...”_

Once again, Daehyun tried to ignore Jun Su's voice nagging at the back of his mind and instead pulled Youngjae into another long-awaited kiss.

He didn't want to make promises he couldn't keep; not to Youngjae. He was sure as hell going to _try_ to free his Jae, but what if he couldn't? Youngjae's parents were obviously good at covering up their abuse, so if they hadn't been caught in the past then how much could Daehyun really do now? And what about the police? Even if Dae did find a way to break his boyfriend out of there, their relationship is still – for the meantime, anyway – illegal. Daehyun had just been charged with the kidnapping and statutory rape of Youngjae, if word got out that the student was with Daehyun again, no doubt Daehyun would be behind bars in no time.

It wasn't until the elder felt a small, cold hand slip under his shirt that the weight of their situation really hit him. What was he _doing_? Youngjae was _17_ for Christ's sake – not to mention that he was in a _coma_ when he met Daehyun! The Busan man had found the boy when he had been shattered so Daehyun took it upon himself to glue Youngjae back together, but Youngjae was still fragile because Daehyun was keeping him bubble-wrapped and locked away so not to break again. Youngjae needed space and time to heal the cracks in his shell on his own; Daehyun couldn't protect him forever and even if he could, what would happen if Daehyun were to become the reason that Youngjae breaks again? No, he couldn't – _wouldn't_ – let that happen.

“Youngjae, wait,” Daehyun's hands came up to grab Youngjae's wrists, stilling his hands from wandering any further. “We...We shouldn't do this. You need some time to be away from me and figure out what it is that you want with your life.”

Youngjae's wide, doe eyes were shining with tears as he looked up at Daehyun. The elder looked away – he always hated seeing tears in those eyes, and he hated it even more now that he was the one that caused it.

“Dae, what are you talking about?” he asked, his voice thick as he tried not to cry – he never had any problem appearing weak in front of Daehyun but right now, he felt more vulnerable than ever. “I _know_ what I want! I want to be with you (Youngjae's voice broke and a stray tear rolled down his cheek. Daehyun very nearly broke his resolve and fell into Youngjae's arms right then). I'll graduate high school, get a good job and we'll move far away from here. We'll get a dog first, and then we'll get married and adopt some kids, I know how much you want a big family. Can't you see Daehyun? What I _want_ is to be with you, forever.”

Daehyun squeezed his eyes shut and bit his tongue, willing himself not to cry and blurt out how _perfect_ that all sounds and how much he wants that too. He has to be the strong one here, since he knows Youngjae can't be.

“Youngjae, how can you be sure that's what you want? Before we met, you wanted to end your life and now all you want is _me_. Don't get me wrong! All I want in my life is _you._ My _God_ , Youngjae you have no idea how much I want – no, _need_ – you in my life, but I'm 23 and I've had time to figure out what I want without someone tying me down. Don't you see, Jae-ah? _I'm_ tying you down. Your feelings for me are stopping you from growing into the amazing man that I already know you are. You need some time away from me.”

Youngjae bit his lower lip so hard it nearly drew blood. He had hoped that the physical pain would distract from the emotional pain he was feeling, but to no avail. He took a deep breath, only to find that it was hard to breathe. His eyes stung with tears that he was holding back and his throat was swollen and dry and he was willing himself not to sob and beg Daehyun to rethink this.

“Fine,” Youngjae choked out, looking Daehyun straight in the eye and hoping that he was making the elder feel as bad as he's feeling. “I'll go.”

He spun on his heel and reached for the door but one of Daehyun's strong hands wrapped around his arm to stop him leaving. Reluctantly, Youngjae turned back to his boyfr-

His _ex-_ boyfriend.

There were tears running down Daehyun's smooth cheeks and Youngjae _hated_ himself for feeling so satisfied. He never thought he'd be happy to see Daehyun cry, but call him petty, he was happy to see that Daehyun was hurting too.

“What do you want, Daehyun? I'm going! Isn't that what you wanted!? For me to stay away from you?”

Daehyun held back the pleads of _please don't go, stay with me, I need you, don't go, don't go, don't go_ , and instead replied with, “Please, just...just eat something before you leave?”

Youngjae wanted to yell and scream at Daehyun for making him feel this way; for spending so long building him up from the ruins of who he used to be, only to push him back down again when he was _so happy_.

But, as much as he hated Daehyun in this moment, he loved him more than anything and that only served to hurt the student more.

Wordlessly, he yanked his arm from Daehyun's grip and left the now-foreign apartment that he had once called home.

Daehyun's heart clenched as he watched Youngjae disappear past the threshold and the door slam after him.

The moment that door was between them, both boys let out the tears they were too stubborn to let the other see.


	10. Chapter 10

When Youngjae woke on Tuesday morning, he would've given anything to fall back asleep again. For a brief moment, before the previous day's events rushed back to him, he thought about Daehyun and how he couldn’t wait until the next time he saw the Busan man.

And _then_ it all came back to him. The memories had hit him like a tidal wave, effectively breaking his split second of contentment. This, however, only served to make him miss Daehyun even more. Now he couldn't go and see Daehyun for no reason, now he couldn't daydream about Daehyun's warm embrace or the way Daehyun made him feel safe, now he couldn't even claim the man as his own because of the simple fact that Dae _wasn't_ his anymore. Though, as much as Youngjae hated to admit it, he would always be Daehyun's. He just wished that was enough, for him _or_ for Daehyun.

Throwing the blanket off of him, Youngjae dragged his body off the bed and to his wardrobe to get ready for school. He didn't pay much attention to what it was that he pulled out, he didn't really care; he had no one to bother looking nice for anymore, and he doubted that a baggy shirt that exposed his collarbones (that Daehyun used to love kissing) and a tight pair of jeans (that used to drive Daehyun crazy) would be all it took for Dae to change his mind about Youngjae.

Once he was dressed, Youngjae grabbed his backpack and headed for the door; he wasn't hungry enough to eat and he wasn't about to stick around for his parents to wake up.

What Youngjae _wasn't_ expecting, was to leave his room only to have his father shout at him, (the curse was too slurred from Kyungjae's drunken state for Youngjae to make out properly, but he thought that was maybe for the best) stand up from his favourite recliner and march across the living room to shove Youngjae straight back into his bedroom. Kyungjae slammed the door after him, effectively trapping Youngjae between him and the door with no way to escape.

“And where do you think _you're_ going?” Kyungjae asked, pointing a dirty finger at Youngjae and swaying slightly.

Youngjae gulped, but didn't falter. “To school. It's a weekday.”

Kyungjae let out a loud bark of laughter. “If you think you're leaving this house today, you're even stupider than you used to be! You think we don't _know_ about your little outing yesterday? The school called us, Youngjae! Where did you go, huh? I bet you went to see that _faggot_ that you shacked up with when you ran away, didn't you?”

Tears sprung to Youngjae's eyes but he didn't back down.

“It doesn't matter where I went,” he said, “I won't be going there again, anyway.”

“That's right you won't,” his father said, a low growl in his voice. “You're lucky we didn't lock you up in here last night.”

' _You were both passed out drunk the whole time, you wouldn't have had the chance,_ ' Youngjae thought with a mental scoff, though he didn't dare voice those thoughts today.

“There are dishes on the sink,” Kyungjae said, “make sure they're done today.” And with that, he left Youngjae's room, making sure to, once again, slam the door behind him.

Fuelled by anger and bitterness, Youngjae reached beside him and grabbed the first thing that his hand touched. He ditched it at the closed door, but his aim wasn't the greatest, let alone when his vision was clouded by tears, so the object (a textbook, he noticed as he watched it fly across the room) hit the wardrobe instead. The wardrobe shook from the impact and a small black bag fell from the top.

Youngjae's breath caught in his throat as the bag hit the floor with a dull thud. All of a sudden, Youngjae's heart started hammering in his chest and he found breathing a rather difficult chore. He hadn't seen that bag since...since...

Slowly, he walked over and picked it up. He turned it over in his hands a few times, inspecting it. The last time he saw this he was lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood. He thought that they got rid of it – that his parents, or the police, or Junhong, or _someone_ would have thrown this far, far away.

But no, someone carelessly threw it to the top of his wardrobe for it to be long forgotten by everyone except Youngjae himself – though it's not like anyone expected Youngjae to be alive after that, anyway.

That dark voice in his head that Youngjae always tries to ignore started talking and in turn Youngjae's wrists started to itch.

“No,” he said to himself. “I don't want this! I promised Junhong I wouldn't.”

' _Daehyun promised_ you _that he'd always be there,_ ' the voice in his head reminded him harshly, ' _he didn't keep that promise, did he? Why should you keep your promises? You don't owe anyone anything._ '

Youngjae swallowed.

His throat was dry and he felt sick to his stomach. His mind took him back to the time in their field – in their dreams – when Daehyun promised him that he'd always be there for him.

_“It'll be okay,” Daehyun whispered into his ear “I'm here for you Jae Jae. I won't let anything bad happen, alright?” He kissed Youngjae's cheek softly. “I'm here. I'll always be here,”_

_It was a promise Daehyun intended to keep at any cost._

He felt so safe, so wanted and so loved in that moment. He couldn't imagine his life without Daehyun and he didn't want to. This man, this beautiful, kind, caring person brought Youngjae back from the brink of death – that's something not even his best friend had managed to do. Daehyun made him feel confident, like he was _worth_ something in this god damn world, like he _mattered_ to someone.

And he did, at least for a while.

Those past few months Youngjae had been so happy, and he knew that Daehyun had been happy too. The feelings between them weren't the kind someone could fake, and even if Daehyun could, why would he? What did he get out of it?

Youngjae isn't stupid. He understands where Daehyun is coming from, but Daehyun should know him better than that – Daehyun should know better than to think that being at home is what's best for Youngjae. Daehyun should've known that Youngjae is headstrong enough and self-aware enough to _know_ what he wants out of life. Daehyun should've stayed by his side and supported his decisions, but he didn't. He gave up the moment he started to doubt and _that_ is what hurt Youngjae the most.

The student could feel the tears welling up in his eyes and knowing he was being so weak because of Daehyun caused anger to bubble up inside him. Youngjae clenched his teeth in an effort to stop the budding tears and unzipped the bag with shaky fingers. He let out a choked noise between a whine and a sob and let the bag fall from his grip. The bag dropped to the floor and Youngjae's old razors clattered around his feet – the razors that were still covered in his blood.

Whoever had put them on top of the wardrobe hadn't even bothered to clean them, or at the very least, throw away the ones that still held the evidence of his last suicide attempt. Youngjae shuddered and inhaled a deep breath before picking the razors up from the floor and putting them back in the bag.

' _Come on, Youngjae,_ ' the voice perked up again, ' _it'll make you feel better and we'll stop thinking of Daehyun_.'

He exhaled sharply and said to himself, “I have dishes to do.”

On his way to the kitchen, Youngjae only stopped to throw that damned black bag in the trash.


	11. Chapter 11

“Youngjae!” Jun Su screeched from another room, interrupting Youngjae's studies. After the events from that morning, Youngjae thought it best to distract himself so he had spent a better part of the afternoon doing homework.

With a huff, he set down his pen and slammed his textbook shut.

“What?” he called back just in time for the door to swing open.

He had to bite his tongue so not to laugh at the sight before him; his umma was standing in his doorway, her chest heaving, her face red and her hair soaking wet.

“Why is there no hot water?!” she asked through clenched teeth. Youngjae just shrugged and swallowed the witty retort that was trying to push it's way out of his mouth. “Well why didn't you pay the bill today?”

Youngjae's eyes nearly bugged out of his head.

“ _Me_? How was I supposed to know the bill was due today? Let alone how the hell I'm meant to have the money! I haven't been here to support you, besides, you're the adult here; the bills are your job, aren't they?” he shot back before he could stop himself.

Youngjae barely had time to blink before Jun Su was storming toward him and the back of her hand was colliding with his cheek. One of his hands came up to cup his burning cheek, but he didn't cry and he didn't dare speak.

“You were a _mistake_ Youngjae!” Jun Su screamed suddenly, only inches from his face. “Did you know that? _You_ weren't meant to be born, but by the time I found out I was pregnant it was too late to do anything about it. And then when I finally, _finally_ got pregnant with another child after so many years of disappointment, the one that I wanted – _your_ little sister! – died in my womb!

“For so many nights, I cried myself to sleep. What made _you_ so special that you got to live and she didn't? Why could I never conceive again after that? _Why wasn't it you_? I wasted seven years of my life loving you, a child that I didn't even want, because I knew that one day, when I was ready, I would have another child but I _didn't_! So tell me, Youngjae; why do you deserve my love? Why do you deserve the shelter we give you and the food we feed you? You ruined my dreams of having a family so you can _man up_ and go get a job to _pay_ the _damn bills_!”

The moment she stopped talking, she was out the door and Youngjae was out of breath.

Part of him was happy that he finally knew why he was treated the way he was, but the other part of him wished he could un-hear all of it. He couldn't help but feel guilty, even if the blame was misplaced.

He shook his head and the guilt with it. He had _nothing_ to feel bad for. What Jun Su and Kyungjae blamed him for wasn't his fault. What happened to his sister wasn't his fault.

Turning back around, Youngjae re-opened his textbook and returned his attention to his algebra homework. Of course, just when he thought that this day, now turned night, couldn't get better, all the lights chose to turn off while Youngjae was in the middle of solving a particularly hard equation.

Youngjae groaned and felt like crying from frustration.

Using the flashlight on his phone, he sifted through his bedside drawer until he found a copy of his resumé (he always kept one spare for times like these) and decided to see if the 24-hour convenience store near him was hiring. He didn't have many job options; he had only ever worked retail (and even then he had little experience) and it had to be somewhere within walking distance of his house _and_ it had to be flexible around his school hours. The 24-hour store seemed like a good fit and he needed to get out of the house anyway.

He made it to the living room and nearly to the front door without someone stopping him.

“Yah!” Kyungjae called in his half-asleep, half-drunken state. “Where do you think you're going? It's nearly 10pm!”

“To get a job, appa,” Youngjae spat and held the resumé up for Kyungjae to see. The older man let out a huff and closed his eyes again, snuggling back into his seat with his half-full beer bottle firmly in hand. Youngjae didn't know where Jun Su was and quite frankly, he didn't care.

The moment the cool night air hit Youngjae, he cracked a small smile – it was barely there, but it was a start. He felt like he'd been freed, even if only for a little while. For a moment he let himself wonder...what would happen if he were to run away? Where would he go and would he eventually be found?

He quickly shut down those dreams though. The last time he'd left home, he hadn't really run away, but he still ended up back there and if he wasn't safe with Daehyun then he _definitely_ wouldn't be safe on his own.

The streets near his house were almost dead, though the bright lights of the street lamps and stores made it look so alive and busy. Youngjae used to hate having to walk these streets alone – it only reminded him how truly alone he was. Now he felt like he was seeing it through a whole new pair of eyes. He no longer felt alone walking these streets, instead he felt like the shackles tethering him home had been blown away with the wind.

The lights around him disappeared as he turned down an alley between two large buildings, a shortcut that he and Zelo always used when they were going this way.

“Youngjae?” a familiar voice made Youngjae stop in his tracks.

With fear and disgust growing in the pit of his stomach, he turned to face the man. Youngjae glanced around them and gulped, seeing that they were alone and out of sight from the cars passing on the road.

“H-Hello, Officer Hyukseo,” Youngjae greeted, taking a small step backwards as the dirty cop stepped toward him. “Off duty, I see,” the teen said with a nod toward Hyukseo's jeans and t-shirt. He hoped that if he was polite then the man would let him leave in peace.

“Yeah, it's my night off,” he said with a friendly smile, and Youngjae would've fallen for it, had he not known better. “What are you doing out this late at night?”

“I'm going to the convenience store to apply for a job,” he told him, and prayed that he would leave soon. Youngjae got a bad feeling from this guy.

“Well, I've got a job for you,” he said, and that friendly smile quickly turned dark. Youngjae frowned – he sure as hell didn't like what this guy was suggesting. “My car is just over there.”

“N-n-no thanks,” Youngjae said, taking two more steps back toward the next street over, “I don't need money _that_ badly.”

Hyukseo reached forward and grabbed Youngjae's hand to yank the teen flush against his body. Youngjae's resume fluttered out of his hand and landed in a puddle not far from where they were standing, but that was the least of his worries right now. Hyuk Seo's hand was still holding onto Youngjae's (so tight that he was losing circulation in his fingers) while the other ran slowly from Youngjae's thigh up to his waist. Youngjae grimace and turned his head away, squeezing his eyes shut as though this was all just a bad dream and he would wake up wrapped in Daehyun's embrace any second now.

“Come on, Youngjae. Name a price, I've got the money,” he said and Youngjae could feel Hyukseo's nose running up his neck.

“What?” Youngjae said, “are you going to pay me with the money that my parents gave you?”

Hyukseo smirked and caught Youngjae's chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing the teen to look at him. “So you know, huh. Did they tell you?”

“I saw you; you aren't as subtle as you think,” Youngjae said. “I won't let you get away with it.”

The officer smiled. “But Youngjae, I'm an officer of the law, and you're just some gay, suicidal kid who ran away to be with an older man. Who do you think the court is going to believe?”

He was right and Youngjae knew it. Not knowing what to say, but not wanting him to think he'd won, Youngjae spat in Hyukseo's face.

The man laughed and threw Youngjae onto the ground. Youngjae went to sit up but Hyukseo got down on top of him, straddling his waist and effectively pinning him to the floor. Youngjae closed his eyes and let out a scream but it was cut short by a hand covering his mouth and part of his mouth, silencing him and making it hard for him to breathe. He heard a _rip_ and felt the crisp air on his chest, followed by a hand that had taken it upon itself to smooth over all of the curves and crevices in Youngjae's torso.

The warm hand and the weight on top of Youngjae suddenly disappeared, but Youngjae was still too shaken to look. He wasn't sure he wanted to see what was about to happen and he didn't want to delude himself with ideas that someone might've come to help him.

He heard Hyukseo yelp and then an all-too familiar voice saying, “What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?”

“I-” Hyukseo started, but was cut off when Youngjae heard a loud cracking sound.

“Get lost,” Youngjae's saviour said, “If I ever see you near Youngjae again, I will not hesitate to do more than break your nose.”

Youngjae's heart didn't even start to calm down until the footsteps he heard had faded into nothing.

“You can open your eyes now, Jae-ah.” he said, looking down at the teen.

Youngjae hesitantly opened his eyes and he'd _never_ been so happy to see that face. The older man offered Youngjae a hand and, with a small, grateful smile, he took it.


	12. Chapter 12

Youngjae pulled his ripped shirt across his chest tightly and shivered, both from the cold air and the shock of what he just went through.

“Thank you, Yongguk hyung,” Youngjae said with a slight bow.

“Don't thank me, Youngjae-ah,” Yongguk said, his voice held a serious tone that Youngjae wasn't used to hearing from him. Yongguk shrugged off his denim jacket and handed it to the young boy. “Here, cover yourself up. Are you okay?”

In all honesty, Youngjae wasn't too sure. He didn't want to think about what would've happened had Yongguk not intervened, and while he was physically okay, his mind was more jumbled than it had been earlier.

“I don't know,” he muttered, looking toward the ground. “I guess I'm still a bit shaken up. What are you doing around here, anyway?”

Yongguk's lips twitched up in a small smile. “Junnie wanted cotton candy ice cream and the 24-hour store around here is the only place I know that sells it and is open this late.” Youngjae felt his heart swell, happy that his best friend had found someone who treated him so well. “What about you?”

“I was actually on my way to apply for a job at the convenience store when he...when he...” a dry sob escaped Youngjae's lips and he immediately threw a hand over his mouth.

In an effort to deter the conversation, Yongguk told him, “You know if you need money I can help you out.”

Youngjae just offered him a smile and a nod in return. Yongguk got the message; _please don't talk about this anymore._

“Do you want to come over? I know Junhong misses you,” the songwriter said.

Youngjae mumbled, “I miss him too. I'm sorry I haven't returned his calls, I know he's worried. I've just gone through a lot today.”

“So,” Yongguk flashed Youngjae the brightest gummy smiles he could muster up, “come back to Junhong and I's place. I can drop you back home later if you need me to.”

Youngjae agreed without reluctance. Yongguk put a hand on Youngjae's upper back as he lead the boy back to his car.

“I just need to call Junnie,” Yongguk said once Youngjae was safely in the car, “I'll be right here, okay?”

“I'll be fine, Yongguk,” Youngjae told him with what he hoped was a convincing smile.

To Yongguk's relief, Junhong answered on the second ring.

“ _Yeoboseyo?_ ” Zelo answered.

“Hey baby, it's me,” Yongguk said, trying not to smile into the receiver.

“ _Oh, thank god! I was about to call you, Gukkie, I was getting worried. What's taking you so long?_ ” he asked.

The rapper's heart hammered in his chest at his boyfriend's cuteness. Yongguk didn't think he would ever accept or get over the way Junhong made his heart beat faster and his blood boil in the best way.

“Sorry Junnie; something came up and I don't have your ice cream, but I _do_ have Youngjae with me.”

“ _What?! Is he okay? Why hasn't he called me?_ ” Yongguk could practically hear Zelo's pout through the phone.

“Something happened, but I shouldn't be the one to tell you. I'm sure you'll hear it from Jae when we get home. I'll be back soon though, arasso?”

“ _Neh, hyung,_ ” he said cutely.

“Oh, and Junhong, could you please do me one little favour?” Yongguk asked. He didn't want to seem too overprotective, but due to what almost happened to Youngjae, his boyfriendly-concern levels were on high alert. “Can you just lock the doors? I don't want anything happening while you're there alone.”

“ _Babe, nothing is going to happen,_ ” Junhong told him, trying to reassure Yongguk's worries like he always does. No matter how long they've been together or how much they've gone through, Junhong can't help but feel bad when Yongguk worries for him.

“I know, Junhong, but please, just...can you do this for me? Please baby?” Yongguk pleaded, on the verge of full-blown begging.

Really, it was for his own peace of mind. He didn't think anything would happen to his Junnie and even if it did, he had his boyfriend take some self-defence lessons a while ago, not to mention Yongguk's favourite baseball bat is right beside the front door (though that one is more for Junhong's peace of mind than Yongguk's, however Yongguk is happy as long as his boy feels safe).

“ _Yeah, of course, I'll go do it now,_ ” he said. He wanted to ask more but thought better of it, deciding not to keep them away any longer.

“Thank you,” the songwriter said after an audible sigh of relief. “I should get going now, though.”

“ _Okay, Guk. I love you,_ ” Junhong said. Those three words still managed to bring a smile to Yongguk's face.

“I love you too, jagiya. I'll see you soon.”

• • • • • •

By the time Youngjae had finished recounting the events to Junhong, both boys were in tears.

Yongguk, not wanting to interrupt them, took it upon himself to make them some tea – he didn't know how to comfort them in this situation, so that was the best he could do.

Junhong couldn't help but feel guilty – maybe if he had've fought for Youngjae's freedom more; if he'd made a statement against his parents back when Youngjae was in a coma; if he hadn't been so selfish by living happily with Yongguk when his best friend, his umma, was still in an abusive household; if he had gone with Yongguk to the store instead of taking advantage of the elder's affections for him and making him go alone while Junhong stayed home, maybe he could've helped Youngjae sooner and stopped it from even _nearly_ happening.

“I'm so sorry hyung,” Junhong said, pulling Youngjae into a tight hug. “I'm sorry I couldn't help you.”

Youngjae wrapped his arms around Junhong's middle, resting his head on the taller boy's shoulder and let the last of his tears fall onto Zelo's shoulder.

“It's okay, pabo,” Youngjae mumbled into his shirt. “There's nothing you could've done.”

“But maybe-”

“ _No_ , Junhong,” the elder said sternly, pulling back to look his friend in the eye. “I feel bad enough right now, I don't need you feeling bad too, okay?”

Junhong nodded and then gave Youngjae a tight-lipped smile. He still felt bad, but he could put his feelings aside for his hyung's sake.

“Neh, hyung,” he said with a smile just as Yongguk came out with two cups of tea. Youngjae took his with a small 'thank you' and Junhong took his with a smile and a quick peck on the lips before turning back toward his best friend. “Let's talk about happy things now!”

“Okay,” Youngjae laughed, “what do you want to talk about now?”

“Hmm...” Junhong hummed, stroking his invisible beard in thought. “I know! What about our prom? I mean, it sucks that you have to repeat your senior year but it's _so cool_ that we're in the same grade now and we can _both_ go to prom! You know how much I've been looking forward to this since I started school and I'm so excited that I get to share it with you _and_ Gukkie. I'll have my best friend and my boyfriend and _no bullies_! I mean, it's kinda silly that it's so early on in the year, but we have exams and evaluations later so it's good that it won't interrupt with our studies and...”

Youngjae's smile faltered a little and he zoned out of Zelo's prom rant. He hadn't really been thinking of prom all that much with everything else that's going on and now that he and Daehyun weren't together he wasn't sure he even _wanted_ to go. He wanted to make Junhong happy, but he'd have Yongguk there. Youngjae didn't think he'd be able to go a whole night watching everyone dancing and being happy with their boyfriends or girlfriends while he sat there missing the man he loves.

“A-actually, Junhong-ah,” Youngjae finally spoke up, stopping Zelo mid-sentence. “I don't think I'm going to be going to prom...”

Zelo's face fell and it broke Youngjae's heart but he stuck to his resolve – this once, he was going to think of his own happiness first.

“What? But why? You were so excited last year! Everyone should go to their prom – it's a once in a lifetime experience, Jae!” Junhong informed him. Yongguk reached over to take Zelo's hand, reminding him to go easy on Youngjae.

“Well, I've had a lot going on recently and I don't particularly want to go alone. Last year I was going to take you, as friends, but now you have Yongguk and I don't want to take that experience from you,” he told him. There was a look of confusion on both Yongguk and Junhong's faces.

“Alone?” Yongguk asked. “Did Daehyun say he didn't want to go anymore? He told me just the other week that he was looking forward to taking you.”

This time it was Youngjae who looked confused.

“Daehyun?” he asked, “He broke up with me yesterday.”

“ _WHAT_!?” Zelo yelled, jumping to his feet. “He did _what_!?”

“Zelo, it's okay, really,” Youngjae said, tugging on Junhong's hand to make him sit back down, “I mean, it was going to happen sooner or later right?”

“Wha- no!” Zelo stressed, looking to Yongguk for help understanding just _what the hell is going on_.

“Look, I'm getting tired; can we talk about this tomorrow?” Youngjae asked.

“Yeah, of course,” Junhong said though his eyes held a million questions that he thought better of asking right now.

“Do you want me to drive you home?” Yongguk asked. He saw Youngjae's eyes flash with fear. “The offer to stay here for the night still stands.”

“Do you mind?” he asked in a small voice. Yongguk smiled wide and shook his head. “Thank you guys.”

Junhong let Youngjae borrow some of his clothes and made the bed in the spare room for him. Neither of the boys spoke about all the times Youngjae had shared this bed with Daehyun. They talked about old times, before Youngjae's coma, before they met two men from Busan who flipped their lives upside down, before things were so complicated.

Part of Youngjae regrets it, regrets _Daehyun_. He should have known right from the start that it was too good to be true, but he didn't stop himself like he tried to do all those months ago in the hospital. He tried to resist Daehyun's charms so that he didn't get hurt again but he took a chance and look where it got him. He couldn't help but wish he'd never accepted Daehyun's love in the first place.

• • • • • •

Junhong waited until Youngjae fell asleep to rejoin Yongguk in the living room.

“How is he?” the songwriter asked, holding his arms open for the younger to fall into them.

Zelo took a seat on the sofa and shuffled toward Yongguk, letting the elder wrap his arms around Junhong's shoulders, and resting his head on the elder's chest.

“He's sad,” Zelo told him, snuggling more into Yongguk, “he didn't say it, but I can tell. I just _can't believe_ Daehyun would break up with him. We both know what Daehyun is like without Youngjae...I don't get it.”

Yongguk shrugged, “I don't know either. I'll have a talk to him tomorrow, arasso?”

“Thanks, Guk,” Junhong said, looking up at his boyfriend before placing a brief kiss to his lips.

“So,” Yongguk said with a small smile, “I'm going to your senior prom, huh?”

Junhong flushed deep red and the thought occurred to him that he hadn't actually _asked_ Yongguk yet.

“Uh, yeah, I mean if you want to. I would like you to go with me but if you don't have to but, y'know, I want you to, if you want to...” he said, avoiding his boyfriend's gaze out of embarrassment.

Yongguk hooked his finger under Zelo's chin and tilted his head to look at him. The elder bent down to bring their lips together, not concerned with the uncomfortable position he was in. Zelo smiled into the kiss and sucked Yongguk's lower lip between his own. Yongguk let out a small mewl and Zelo broke the kiss.

“Sooo...will you go to prom with me?” he asked with a small smile.

Yongguk let out a content hum and a nod in return, eagerly claiming Junhong's mouth once again and murmuring confessions of love in between kisses.


	13. Chapter 13

It had been months since Daehyun had last talked to Youngjae and to say that he missed him would be an understatement. Ever since he broke up with Youngjae (' _for his own good,_ ' Daehyun constantly reminded himself) all he wanted to do was lay in bed and cry, like he did last time when his insomnia kicked in. He wouldn't let himself though because he knows that this time he brought it upon himself. Yongguk had tried to talk some sense into him numerous times, and Junhong refused to even see him anymore – which Daehyun completely understands; he broke his best friend's heart, Daehyun would feel the same if it were Yongguk.

There have been times –many, _many_ times – where Daehyun has missed the teen so much that he has considered calling him and begging for another chance. Sometimes he sat there, staring at Youngjae's contact with his thumb hovering over the _call_ button, other times he sat staring at his phone hoping that Youngjae would call and ask Daehyun to take him back – not because he wanted Youngjae to beg, but because he knew that if Youngjae asked, his resolve would break and they could be together again.

Still, just because Daehyun missed him that doesn't mean he regrets his choice (at least, not out loud and not when Yongguk asks) and that's not to say that they'll _never_ be together again. If they see each other again when Youngjae is older, maybe having even gone to college, and the younger decides that he wants to give it another try, Daehyun wouldn't even hesitate. All he wants is for Youngjae to not regret him sometime down the track.

“Aish,” he muttered to himself, “Snap out of it!”

He was sitting at a small, round table outside a cafe, waiting on Yongguk. Daehyun arrived 15 minutes early, simply because his thoughts were driving him crazy and he _needed_ to get out of his house. The waitress had come around a few times asking for Daehyun's order but he decided to wait for Yongguk. He could see her looking him up and down but he paid her no mind; she wasn't his Jae baby.

"Dude, you look like crap." Yongguk said as he sat down across from Daehyun.

"Yeah, I didn't get a lot of sleep last night." Daehyun told him, wiping a hand over his tired face.

"Still can't sleep without Youngjae?" Yongguk asked.

Daehyun sighed and shook his head. "Nope. Still sucks without him."

This time, Yongguk shook his head. "Man, you need to get over this insecure thing you've got going on. You still love him; he still loves you; you're both miserable like this! It's been months, Dae."

"How is he?"

"Didn't I just answer that? He's miserable, Daehyun."

"Hyung, you know that's not what I wanted to hear.”

Yongguk shrugged. "It's the truth."

The waitress came back around to take their orders. Yongguk ordered a regular black coffee and Daehyun ordered a caramel latte with a slice of cheesecake. She smiled and winked at Yongguk before she left. The older paid no mind to the retreating waitress as he stared cross-armed at his best friend.

“I know, I know,” Daehyun murmured, leaning back in his seat and looking away from Yongguk. Even if he was lying, all Daehyun wanted to hear was that Youngjae was happy and coping well without him, not how upset he still was. “What about Junhong? How's he going?”

“He still hates you,” Yongguk told him, blunt as ever, “but you know how protective he is of Youngjae. He'll get over it when you come to your senses and you guys get back together, don't worry.”

“Gee, thanks,” Dae deadpanned. “What about prom?” he asked. He knew that it was coming up soon because he still had the date circled on his calendar – Youngjae couldn't wait and Daehyun loved seeing him so happy. “I bet Zelo's excited. Do you have anything special planned?”

“Actually, we aren't going. Zelo doesn't want to,” Yongguk said.

Daehyun didn't get a chance to comment anything further because the waitress came back with their orders. She placed Daehyun's latte and cheesecake before him. Daehyun eyed his cheesecake intensely, but even that couldn't distract him from the thoughts of his ex-boyfriend that were plaguing his mind.

“But why? I thought they weren't getting bullied anymore?” Daehyun asked the moment she left. His heart hurt at the thought of Youngjae still getting picked on at school. Just because they were broken up right now didn't mean that Daehyun stopped caring (or that he wouldn't go to the school and show some people what happens when they mess with his Youngjae).

“They aren't,” Yongguk replied, taking a sip of his coffee. “Junhong said amount of bullying in the entire school has gone down.”

With a mouth full of cheesecake, Daehyun asked, “then is it because you're a guy? Is he ashamed of being gay?”

Yongguk nearly spat out his coffee as a laugh bubbled in his throat.

“Of course not,” he said once he'd swallowed the drink, “everyone knows about Junhong and I. I mean, I pick him up from school and he's very handsy. It's hard to keep _that_ on the down-low.”

“I don't get it then; why?”

“Because Jae isn't going and he doesn't want to go without his best friend.”

“But...but Jae used to tell me how excited he was to go to his senior prom – he thought he'd never get the chance. He said he wanted the 'full high school experience'.” Daehyun said told the elder. He hoped to god that he wasn't the reason Youngjae changed his mind.

“Well the only person who he wants to go with has already rejected him.”

Something inside Daehyun dropped. What did he expect? For Youngjae to just wait around for him? He had no claim on Youngjae anymore, _he_ ended their relationship so it shouldn't bother him that Youngjae is moving on, right? This is what Daehyun wanted, _right_?

“Oh...who has he asked?” he couldn't help but ask. He just wanted to know so he could make sure this person was good enough for his Jae.

Yongguk chuckled, and Daehyun felt slightly offended at the action.

“No one, you pabo. He wants to go with you.”

Daehyun's jaw dropped.

“But I never rejected him!” he argued. “I only said he needed time to think about what he wants! Yongguk, I don't want him to move on! I just want him to be _absolutely sure_ that he wants to be with me for the rest of his life, because that's all I'm interested in with him; forever. I'm in it for the long haul and he's so young, how can he know that he is too?”

“Don't you get it Dae? That's not how the rest of us – how _he_ sees it. You're my best friend but you're even dumber than you look if you think that boy isn't one-hundred percent sure of his feelings for you,” Yongguk said. It may have been a bit harsh, but Daehyun needed to get it through his thick skull – _Youngjae loves him_.

Daehyun let his head hang in his hands.

He remembered the first time Youngjae told him he loved him; he was so shy and scared and Daehyun remembers feeling so damn blessed that someone as innocent and sweet as Youngjae had trusted him with his heart.

He remembered when Youngjae first woke up and he told Daehyun that he needed time. Daehyun didn't understand why Youngjae seemed to do a complete 180 – one day he was saying that he loved him and the next he didn't want to be with him. Daehyun was so hurt and confused...was that how Youngjae was feeling now?

The gears in Daehyun's head finally seemed to click into place and Jun Su's words no longer mattered.

“Yongguk,” Daehyun said, slowly raising his eyes to meet Yongguk's. “I've really fucked this up, haven't I?”


	14. Chapter 14

“He's going to kill me, Yongguk,” Daehyun whimpered to his hyung as pulled into the driveway of Yongguk and Zelo's shared home.

Yongguk rolled his eyes at his dongsaeng.

“He won't _kill_ you,” Yongguk assured him before turning off the car and stepping out, “maybe hurt you a little, yell a bit, but he won't _kill_ you.”

“Gee, thanks for the reassurance hyung,” Daehyun deadpanned, following Yongguk out of the car and toward the front door.

Daehyun swallowed the lump in his throat as they approached. He knew he shouldn't really be scared; Yongguk lived here too so really, it was okay for Daehyun to be there. But Junhong was _scary –_ especially when it came to Youngjae's wellbeing (Daehyun had witnessed it himself when Junhong saw him drawing Youngjae and the teen had thought that his feelings for Youngjae were all a part of some prank) and right now, Daehyun was the reason Youngjae had been heart broken for the past few months.

“Junnie?” Yongguk called into the house as he opened the door. Daehyun followed him inside, taking his shoes off at the entrance and staying as quiet (and hidden) as he could behind Yongguk. At least, until Yongguk blew his cover with a yell of; “I'm home, baby. Daehyun is with me too.”

That was when Zelo appeared at the end of the hall, like a ghost from a horror movie, and if looks could kill then Daehyun would've been dead the moment Zelo saw him.

“What is he doing here, Yongguk?” Junhong asked, the cute tone he usually had when addressing Yongguk long gone.

The songwriter approached his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around him without hesitation. Daehyun noted the way the young boy leaned into Yongguk's hold but didn't let his guard down, ready to pounce and strangle Daehyun at any moment.

“I know you're mad at him, baby, but just give him a chance to speak. Please?” the elder asked softly, a tone of voice that was reserved solely for Zelo.

The glare Zelo was shooting Daehyun didn't in any way lessen, but there was less malice in his voice when he spoke this time.

“Fine,” Zelo said to Yongguk, though his eyes never left Daehyun. “What do you have to say Daehyun?”

The Busan male flinched at the way Zelo spat his name but he shook it off.

“I'm an idiot,” he said simply.

The maknae raised an eyebrow and shrugged in agreement. “You're not wrong.”

“I've been so insecure and _stupid_ and I lost Youngjae because of it,” Daehyun felt tears pooling in his eyes and he dropped to his knees. Hands on the floor in front of him, he bowed and begged, “please, Junhong, _please_ help me get him back.”

• • • • • •

Youngjae shot up, his body was covered in a cold sweat and a scream was trying to escape through the lips he was pressing together so tightly.

Ever since that night, he'd had nightmares about it. Usually it was just his brain recounting his events. On the better nights his brain would manipulate the memory so that it was Daehyun who found him, not Yongguk, and the elder brought Youngjae back to his (nee: their) old apartment where they'd talk and kiss and makeup and he wouldn't wake up screaming. Though sometimes, on the worse nights, he dreamt about what would've happened had no one found him and he often found himself debating which nightmare was worse; not being saved or the (rare) times he dreamt that it wasn't Hyukseo that had attacked him, but Daehyun.

The first few nights after, he was too slow in biting his tongue and let the scream out. His parents weren't happy with being awoken at three in the morning by their sons screams and threatened to cut out his tongue if he kept it up. Youngjae may not be as afraid of them as he used to be, but he wasn't game enough to try and call that bluff so he had quickly gotten the hang of biting his tongue the moment he opened his eyes.

His parents were, also, not happy with him both a) not coming home that night and b) still being jobless, so he had been confined to his room ever since then. They let him out for school three days a week, enough for him to keep up, and limited him to one bowl of rice a day since they claimed they couldn't afford to feed him anything more. Youngjae quickly adapted to the food situation (he'd starved before, it was an easy habit to fall back into) but he missed Junhong. He wished he could see him outside of school where he could tell him about the nightmares without the fear of someone overhearing the conversation, but he couldn't so for now they were limited to hushed conversations in the school bathroom and brief text messages.

Youngjae pulled his cellphone (the one his parents still didn't know he had and could barely afford to keep) out from under his mattress and sent a quick text to Zelo.

**_To: Jello  
From: Jae Umma  
I had another nightmare. I'm sorry I keep bothering you so late at night, I just don't have anyone else to talk to._ **

He received an almost instant reply.

**_To: Jae Umma  
From: Jello  
You aren't bothering me hyung! Besides, I was already awake. Are you okay? How bad was it?_ **

Youngjae went to ask why he was still awake at this time of night (or morning, technically) but decided against it, assuming it had something to do with Yongguk that Youngjae did _not_ want to hear about.

**_To: Jello  
From: Jae Umma  
It was one of the better ones, I guess._ **

He hesitated before sending Zelo another message. It was kind of pointless, he felt, but he had to get it out.

**_To: Jello  
From: Jae Umma  
I miss him so much, Junhong_ **

Right now, feeling scared and alone, Youngjae wanted nothing more than to be in Daehyun's arms. He had barely said two words about the elder to anyone but it was times like these when he couldn't even pretend that he didn't miss Daehyun more than anything.

**_To: Jae Umma  
From: Jello  
I know, hyung. It'll all work out soon. I promise <3_ **

Youngjae didn't know what Junhong meant by that so he took it as wishful thinking.

**_To: Jello  
From: Jae Umma  
I hope so. Thank you, Jello. Goodnight x_ **

Zelo replied with his goodnight in no time and on any other night, this would be when he turned of his phone and hid it once again. After all, he could be caught at any moment and his savings were starting to run low; he could barely afford to pay his phone bill so he used it as scarcely as he could.

He didn't know if it was the adrenaline from his nightmare or the ache in his heart, but he didn't put his phone away like he usually did. Instead, he opened up a new message.

**_To: Daehyunnie  
From: My Jae Baby_ **

Youngjae's fingers hovered over the keypad for a while. What should he say? There were so many things that he wanted Daehyun to know, but now that he had the courage to say them he was at a loss for words. He let out a sigh and went to close the message before he had even typed anything, but hesitated and brought his thumbs back to the keypad.

**_To: Daehyunnie  
From: My Jae Baby  
I miss you._ **

Youngjae wasn't expecting a reply. This was the first contact they'd had in just over three months, and Daehyun _was_ the one to end it, not to mention that Daehyun was probably sleeping right now, so Youngjae didn't expect anything from the message.

That's why he jumped so high in the air at the unexpected buzz from the cellphone in his hands.

His breath caught in his throat when he saw a new message from Daehyun.

**_To: My Jae Baby  
From: Daehyunnie  
I miss you too. I'm sorry, Youngjae._ **

With that, Youngjae blinked back the tears welling in his eyes, shut his phone off and shoved it back under his mattress before jumping back into his bed with haste, wanting nothing more than to be asleep so that he didn't have to think about Daehyun any longer.

If only he knew that Daehyun was on the other end of the phone, toying with the small device in his hands and wondering if he should apologise some more, tell him he loves him and beg Youngjae to take him back.


	15. Chapter 15

The last thing Youngjae expected when he opened his eyes was to be met with a bright blue sky. He closed his eyes again, shielding them from the harsh light of day and curled his fingers only to get a handful of grass, instead of his sheets.

His brow furrowed and he sat up gingerly and looked around him. He was sitting in some sort of clearance; it was surrounded by tall trees and there were yellow roses scattered all around him. He's sure that if he were to look back, there would be a cabin by the edge of the forest and beside it, a pathway lined with all kinds of flowers that led to a crystal blue lake.

He knew this place all too well.

It was the field. _Their field_.

He leaned forward and plucked a rose from the ground, briefly wondering how they manage to grow without being attached to a bush (he didn't bother questioning these things last time, and he supposes he shouldn't now, but he couldn't help his thoughts and anything was better than thinking about Daehyun), and inspected it. The yellow was so bright – brighter than anything he'd ever seen while awake. Everything here seemed to be more saturated, more alive, than everything in the real world.

He had a brief sense of deja vu. He recalled, once before, sitting in a spot like this, inspecting one of the yellow roses, only that time he was interrupted by-

"Uh, Youngjae?" a familiar voice spoke, grabbing the younger's attention and making him drop the rose as he jumped up to a standing position. He hesitated before turning around – he should've known that Daehyun would be here too. When he met Daehyun's eyes, the elder looked just as shocked as he did. "Um... Hello."

"H-hello Daehyun hyung." Youngjae offered weakly, followed by a bow. He didn't know how to act around Daehyun anymore. The feeling was foreign and unwanted; he missed the time when Daehyun was the person he was most comfortable around.

"You don't need to bow." Daehyun said to him with a small smile and Youngjae was hit with another sense of deja vu.

"Okay." the younger said, his voice as small and shaky as he felt.

There was a sudden lull in the conversation as the two stood there, staring at the other like they hadn't seen each other in years. Youngjae wanted to run; away from Daehyun or right into his arms, he didn't know. He had spent all this time wanting nothing more than to see Daehyun, to have a chance to speak with him and now that he finally had it he didn't know what to do with it.

Luckily (or unluckily, he was still undecided) it was Daehyun who chose to speak first.

“I've missed you,” he said simply. There was a look in his eye that Youngjae felt like he hadn't seen in so long and it made the younger's knees grow weak.

“Yeah, you said that in your text,” was the reply that came out. He didn't know what else to say. In all honesty, he wanted to get down on his knees and cry and beg Daehyun to take him back, to convince him that he made a huge mistake, but he had far too much pride for that.

Daehyun took a small step forward. When Youngjae didn't step back, he took that as a good sign.

“I'm so sorry, Jae.”

“I know,” Youngjae gave a small nod, “You said that too.”

“I didn't say that I was stupid. I didn't say that I love you and that I regret everything I said that day – that I regret letting you go and not grovelling at your feet every day after so that you'd take me back. I should've said all that, too, but I wanted to say it in person,” Daehyun lunged forward, taking Youngjae's hand in his own and raising it to his lips. He missed the feel of Youngjae's smooth skin against his lips; he missed everything about Youngjae.

“Daehyun, I...” Youngjae started, but couldn't find the words to say what he was thinking. What _was_ he thinking? Even he didn't know. “I...I don't..”

Daehyun waited for Youngjae to say something, anything, that would let him know whether or not to give up now. The younger just trailed off, unsure of what to say. Dae watched as Youngjae's brow furrowed and he wanted nothing more to kiss it away. He felt the younger's hand squeeze around his, a silent plea for Daehyun to understand that he was at the very least _trying_.

Daehyun gave a closed lip smile and squeezed Youngjae's hand in response.

“Come on, why don't we go inside?” he nodded toward the cabin. Youngjae mentally noted that it was actually quite warm outside (he can almost feel his arms starting to burn from exposure to the sun) but he stayed silent. He appreciated the effort Daehyun was making. “I'll make us some tea and then maybe we can talk? If you want, I mean, if you're ready for that...to talk to me...”

Youngjae smiled back.

It wasn't the brightest smile he'd ever given Daehyun. It didn't quite reach his eyes, making the corners of his lids crinkle, and his cheeks weren't puffing out, tempting Daehyun to pinch and kiss them, and his pearly white teeth weren't on display but Daehyun didn't mind – it was a start. That smile, Daehyun thought, was so much better than the look of despair he'd become so accustomed to seeing when Youngjae looked at him.

“Tea sounds nice,” he said with a small nod.

Daehyun's hand was still tight around his own and he made no effort to change that as the elder led him toward the small cabin.

The cabin was just as Youngjae remembered it; small, cosy and dimly lit. The place still smelled like the flowers outside and the crisp air after it's rained. It felt familiar and welcoming.

It felt more like home than his actual home did.

“Here, sit,” Daehyun said, finally releasing Youngjae's hand and fluffing up a cushion, resting it between the armrest and the back of the sofa for Youngjae.

Youngjae felt his cheeks warm at the sweet action and sat down. He murdered a small thanks and hoped that Daehyun heard him because he didn't trust his voice to speak any louder.

“Are you comfortable? Do you need anything – a blanket? More cushions? I can get you more cushions! Just wait a sec-”

“Dae!” he called, stilling the elder's actions and stopping his own laughter. He doesn't even remember the last time he saw Daehyun this nervous around him. “I'm fine. Although, I do believe I was promised tea~”

For the first time that night (day? Youngjae didn't know how time worked here and he wasn't about to try and figure it out.) Daehyun smiled a full, bright smile and Youngjae felt his heart beat at twice it's normal speed. For a second, Youngjae was afraid his heart might just leap out of his chest – he figured anything was possible here, after all.

“I'll be right back!” he said and started to leave, but hesitated and looked back at Youngjae. “Don't go anywhere, please?”

Youngjae sympathised with the longing in Daehyun's eyes that were boring holes into him as if he were afraid Youngjae would disappear at any given moment. He remembered when the roles were reversed and he was the one afraid that he'd leave the room and come back only to find Daehyun was gone and he was, once again, all alone.

“I'm right here,” was the answer he gave and Daehyun seemed to be satisfied with it as he dashed off to the kitchen.

Being here was so nostalgic. Youngjae couldn't help but let his mind drift to all the times spent here with Daehyun; from the first night finding shelter from the storm that raged outside, to the first time he let Daehyun make love to him. He was torn between smiling at the memories and crying again from the pain it caused to think about them.

He didn't have time to do either as Daehyun came back, handing a steaming mug to Youngjae and taking a seat beside him on the sofa.

Youngjae hummed at the warmth of the mug between his hands. He blew away some of the steam so not to burn his tongue and took a small sip of the drink before placing it down on the coffee table.

“I'm sorry, Daehyun. I know you expect me to, I guess, be mad at you or upset or...I don't know, _something_ ; but the truth is that I still don't know where to even start. I want to be mad, I want to yell and I want to cry but I also just want you to kiss me and hold me,” he said. He knows there's no point hiding anything from the Busan man; Daehyun can read him like a child’s book.

Daehyun put his tea down beside Youngjae's and shuffled closer, yet avoided Youngjae's gaze.

“I love you, Youngjae. I never stopped,” he said, his eyes never leaving the white fluffy rug on the floor.

“I know that. That was never even a question for me. I knew you loved me. That's why it was so hard on me when you just abandoned me. I _needed_ you, Daehyun. Not because I was lonely but because I was _so scared_. I got you arrested; I was being forced to go back to my parents...you were my comfort, my safe place that made it all feel okay even if it was only temporary. Then you just...weren't. And I didn't understand – I still don't think I do,”

Daehyun lifted his head, his eyes meeting Youngjae's and it hurt the younger's heart to see tears shining in the eyes he loves so much.

“I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean to- I didn't think of it like that, Jae, I'm sorry. I was insecure and over-thinking things and I let your mother's words get to me, I didn't-”

“My mother? She spoke to you?” Youngjae's face soured. Just the thought of his mother being a part of their break-up seemed to leave a foul taste in his mouth.

Daehyun nodded, wiping his face with his sleeve furiously.

“She told me that you didn't concern me. That you were still young and didn't know what you wanted and after what happened with the cops because of your age, well I guess I let her words get to me. I was wrong.”

“You were.”

“Do you think you can you forgive me?”

“I don't know, Daehyun. Maybe you were right...maybe...maybe we just aren't meant to be together.” Youngjae couldn't believe the words coming out of his own mouth.

Daehyun's eyes widened. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears. It felt as if his heart was breaking and all the blood was leaving his body. Daehyun thought he might pass out at any moment. Instinctively he reached out for Youngjae's hands, holding them tight like a lifeline to consciousness.

“Jae, baby,” he said, searching Youngjae's eyes for any sign that he still had a chance, “This is the first time that we've shared a dream ever since you woke up. Don't you think this _means something_? Last time we didn't see each other – aside from when I wasn't sleeping at all – was after the first time we (Daehyun flushed deep red at the memory) made love. We didn't come here again until the doctors told me you might not wake up. I was losing hope back then; I thought I was losing _you_. Tell me you didn't feel the same, Youngjae,”

“I did,” he whispered, avoiding the intense and desperate gaze Daehyun had trained on him.

“And that's how I felt when I fell asleep last night! I felt hopeless, Youngjae! Like there was nothing for me in the future; like I would never get you back. Now we're back here, together. You can't tell me that's a coincidence, Jae! Every time we've come here, it's been during a time in our lives when we needed comfort – when we needed _each other_.

“I don't know why this happens to us. If it's just some random twist of fate that can be explained away by science, or if it's because you're my soulmate – and you are, Youngjae. You're who I belong with and I don't want to spend my life with anyone but you – but I don't care either way. There's a reason we keep coming here and whatever that reason is, it brings us together when we need each other the most. I need you.”

Daehyun released Youngjae's hands and stepped off the couch. He moved their now-lukewarm mugs of tea onto the mantle of the fireplace and moved the coffee table aside to stand before Youngjae. Daehyun focused his gaze on the floor and dropped to his knees. He slumped and placed his hands in his lap.

“Please forgive me. I know I've done you wrong and I'm sorry for that. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you'll have me.”

Daehyun didn't look up from the rug beneath his knees until a small, broken sob shattered the silence that had engulfed the cabin. The sight he was met with made his heart clench in his chest. Youngjae was curled into the corner of the couch, sobbing into his hands. He hated seeing Youngjae look so small and broken and he especially hated being the cause of it. The last thing he wanted to do was make Youngjae cry.

“G-Get up, Daehy-hyun,” he said, though the sound was muffled through his hands and hiccups. He moved his hands from his face and spread his arms. “Come h-here.”

Daehyun all but jumped into Youngjae's arms. The younger wrapped his arms tight around Daehyun's waist and buried his face in his shoulder. Daehyun's arms circled Youngjae's shoulders, holding him close and rubbing a hand on his back to calm the sobs that were still racking his body.

Daehyun repeated whispers of _I'm sorry_ and sweet nothings in Youngjae's ear, effectively soothing the younger boy. One of his hands slid up Youngjae's back and up his neck to cup his cheek. The elder pulled away, only far enough to spare one last glance at his angel's face. He searched those beautiful brown orbs for any sign of hesitance or reluctance. When he found none, he leaned forward to bridge the gap between them.

Kissing Youngjae was like coming up for air while he was on the verge of drowning. He tasted sweet, and the way he was clinging to Daehyun's shirt made the elder's heart flutter.

“I love you too, Daehyun,” Youngjae muttered against his lips. “And I- I believe you're my soulmate, too.”

“So,” Dae grinned and bit his lower lip, “will you let me take you to prom?”

Youngjae rolled his eyes and pulled Daehyun in by the collar, crashing their lips together in another kiss. This one was rougher than the last; full of teeth and tongues and fighting for the upper hand.

“If I can figure out a way to get out of my room, then sure, you big cheeseball.”

A look of guilt and sadness flushed in Daehyun's eyes.

“I'll get you out of there, Youngjae,” he said, “It's probably a bit too late to say this, but I promise you that I'll get you out.”

“I know you will, Dae.”

Daehyun ran a hand through Youngjae's soft hair, his hand stopped at the back of his head and he used the leverage to pull Youngjae in for another kiss.

It started off innocent and chaste. All he wanted was to be close to Youngjae and make him feel loved. The hands that had been gripping at Daehyun's shirt mercilessly loosened and found their way to Daehyun's neck.

Daehyun's tongue swiped at Youngjae's lower lip when the younger let out a mewl. Youngjae parted his lips, granting the other man access to his warm cavern. Daehyun didn't hesitate to slip his tongue into Youngjae's open mouth, re-familiarising himself with every inch of the younger's mouth (not that he ever really forgot what it felt like to kiss Youngjae).

Daehyun's hands ran up Youngjae's bare arms and down his chest, toying with one of the buttons of Youngjae's shirt.

Youngjae's mind flashed with images of what happened the night after Daehyun broke up with him and all of a sudden it wasn't Daehyun kissing him, but Hyukseo.

He pushed Daehyun away and managed to hold in the scream that threatened to pass his lips.

“I'm sorry, I was moving too fast. I'm sorry,” Daehyun pleaded, afraid that Youngjae had changed his mind.

The younger boy shook his head furiously.

“No, it's not you it's-” he stopped himself, squeezing his eyes shut. “Some stuff happened, while we weren't together. I thought I was past it, but I suppose not. I don't want to talk about it right now. Can you...can you just hold me?”

“Of course, jagiya,” Dae said, tugging Youngjae's hand so that the younger fell into his side gently.

Youngjae's head rested on Daehyun's shoulder and the elder had one hand protectively around Youngjae's waist while the other hand held Youngjae's fragile one, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on the back of Youngjae's hand.

No more words were exchanged, save for the whispered confessions that occasionally slipped out, but they wouldn't have had it any other way – the boys both found it the perfect end to their prolonged reunion.

Neither knew how long it was before they fell asleep, but when they woke up they were in seperate beds in seperate parts of Seoul.

Youngjae had hope, though, because although he wasn't physically there, he had Daehyun.

And little did he know, Daehyun had a plan.


	16. Chapter 16

“You owe me so damn hard, Bang Yongguk!” Himchan glared.

“I know, I know,” Yongguk nodded before reminding him, “Though, you didn't _have_ to do this.”

Himchan rolled his eyes. “Please, like I was going to refuse – especially since you got Yongnam to ask me for you. Like I was going to say no to the only other person Yongnam loves as much as me.”

Yongguk grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. Himchan had a point, he knew that.

When Zelo had told him that Youngjae and Daehyun had got back together he was so glad to have everything back to normal. Well, mostly normal. Youngjae was still in his parents' custody and not home with Daehyun, but Dae swore he was working on a way to change that; he just needed a little more time.

In the meantime, they had to figure out a way to get Youngjae out of the house for prom. He know that Youngjae's parents went out every Saturday for their Bar Night – they'd blow all their money at bars until they crawled home. They usually got back at about 10pm, only to pass out until midday Sunday. With this in mind, he formed a plan.

After everything that had happened with Youngjae, Kyungjae and Junsu were careful to keep all the doors locked, the windows barred shut and take the keys with them so breaking Youngjae out wasn't going to be easy – unless, of course, you knew someone who could get access to a key. Someone who worked at the real estate agency.

Someone like Kim Himchan, who just so happened to be dating Yongguk's twin brother, Bang Yongnam.

Zelo had explained his plan to Yongguk and the elder, unable to say no to his boyfriend's wishes, asked Yongnam to ask Himchan if he could get the key (he knew if he were to ask Himchan himself he'd get a straight up no).

“Chill, Channie,” Yongnam said, resting a hand on Himchan's lower back. Himchan turned his harsh glare to Yongnam, who only smiled in return.

“Do you know how many strings and personal favours I had to pull to get this key?” he said, digging into his pocket and pulling out a small silver key. “If you get caught I could lose my job – my whole real estate licence – for this!”

“I know, Himchan. Thank you so much for doing this for us,” Yongguk bowed.

“I didn't do it for you,” the diva said, handing over the key with little reluctance. “I did it because I love your brother. That doesn't mean you won't have to repay me though!”

Yongguk's lips twitched, itching to smile but knowing it'll only rile Himchan up more. “I will. Thank you,”

Himchan made a small _tsk_ sound and folded his arms. “Just go already; break out Daehyun's honey, whatever, just _do not_ mention me.”

“I won't! Thank you again, Himchan!” Yongguk shouted back as he ran off.

• • • • • •

It was just past five o'clock in the afternoon when Youngjae's parents left the house.

Zelo had texted him earlier that day, telling him that they were going to get him out tonight and not to worry. How could he _not_ worry, though?

The last time he 'left' his parents without permission Daehyun got arrested! Who knows what they'd do if it happened again. They don't ever check Youngjae's room when they get home; not to mention that the door to his room was currently locked anyway so they had even less reason to check if he was in there. Still, what if tonight was the one night that they looked? What if this was the one time they decide to check and he's gone? The beating he would get would surpass any he's taken before.

He wanted to call Zelo, to tell him not to worry about it, that he backed out, but something was stopping him. He hadn't seen Zelo in so long and Daehyun...

Other than the one dream, he hadn't seen Daehyun since they broke up. He couldn't wait to see him again, now that they were back together. And they _were_ back together, right? Everything that happened in the dream...that meant that they were boyfriends again and Youngjae wasn't just being delusional, right?

Youngjae didn't know when he had started to hyperventilate, just that he found his breathing become difficult. What if he made it all up in his head? What if it really _was_ just a normal dream? What if it was some sort of hunger-induced hallucination? He didn't know what he'd do if he was given false hope.

He didn't get a chance to ponder it further, because there was the sound of the front door unlocking.

“Youngjae hyung?” he heard the whisper through his locked door and although it was muffled, he'd recognise that voice anywhere.

“Junhong-ah!” he called happily. He knew he was home alone and had no reason to whisper. “I'm in my room!”

He heard the bolt unlock and his door swung open. He didn't even take a glance at Junhong's face before flinging himself into the teen's arms. His eyes started to sting with tears and he latched onto the young giant even tighter.

“It's so good to see you hyung!” Junhong cried, silent tears running down his face. His arms circle Youngjae's waist and he could feel his hyung's ribs through his shirt and his hipbones poking into his thighs. He was _too_ skinny, but he didn't say anything about it – for now. He released his umma and stepped back, gesturing for Youngjae to follow. “Come on, Jae, we should go. Yongguk hyung is parked on the corner of the street – he's our getaway driver!”

Youngjae wiped his face and nodded. He shut and locked his bedroom door behind him and as he and Junhong ran out of the house and down the street, Youngjae couldn't help but think that he felt like Cinderella. Junhong was his fairy godmother (he laughed at the irony) and he couldn't wait to see Daehyun, his prince.

• • • • • •

When they got back to Junhong and Yongguk's house, Youngjae expected to find Daehyun there. He would be lying if he said his hopes didn't dim a little.

“Is Daehyun hyung coming?” he asked Zelo, hating how small and timid his voice sounded.

“Of course! But he'll be here after~ it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding, you know?” Junhong teased.

“Yah, Zelo! It's our senior prom; not a wedding!” he shot back, and Youngjae didn't miss the knowing glance Yongguk shot at Junhong.

Zelo only shrugged before pulling Youngjae toward the spare room.

“We're getting ready, Gukkie! Don't come in, okay?” he called out to his boyfriend.

“Okay baby, I'll get ready soon too.” he replied, giving Youngjae and Junhong a small wave.

The next couple of hours passed by in a whirlwind of tuxedos (Youngjae discovered that Daehyun had bought one for him and he very nearly cried), makeup, hairspray, Girls' Generation and various tubs of yoghurt.

Youngjae had fun and for a little while he forgot all about his parents and the police and Hyukseo. For just a few hours, he let himself feel like a normal teenager, worrying about boys and hair and whether or not letting Zelo do his eyebrows was a good idea.

When Yongguk knocked on the door to let the boys know that Daehyun was here, Youngjae felt his heart stop. It'd been so long, what if he still didn't know how to act despite the dream? What if Daehyun changed his mind when he saw Youngjae? What if-

“Youngjae!” Zelo grasped Youngjae by the shoulders and shook him. “Stop. Thinking. I can practically see the gears turning in that little head of yours! Daehyun loves you, relax.”

“You're right, I know,” Youngjae pressed his cold palms to his warm cheeks. “You didn't mess up my eyebrows, right?”

Junhong rolled his eyes and pushed him towards the door, not even justifying his question with an answer. The moment Youngjae was past the door, the first thing he saw was Yongguk and Daehyun in deep conversation.

Both men looked good; Yongguk in a deep crimson blazer and jet black slacks, but Youngjae couldn't take his eyes away from Daehyun. From his black tuxedo and matching bowtie to the light grey button-up he was wearing, Youngjae felt like he was falling in love all over again. Neither Yongguk nor Daehyun had noticed their significant others yet, so Youngjae took the time to reacquaint himself with all of Daehyun's features. Had Daehyun always been that tall? Youngjae subconsciously licked his lips when his eyes landed on Daehyun's pillowy lips. He looked on as Daehyun talked animatedly, waving his hands in the air as he told Yongguk whatever story he was telling, and Youngjae's whole body warmed at the memory of those hands on his body.

Junhong cleared his throat, effectively gaining the others' attention. The moment Daehyun's eyes found Youngjae his jaw dropped.

Youngjae looked _beautiful_. Well, Daehyun always thought he looked beautiful, but today he looked ethereal.

His hair was parted on the left and swept up and to the side, only a few stray hairs falling onto his forehead. There was kohl lining his eyes, the same eyes that already pierced Daehyun's soul with every look, and the brown orbs seemed to shine. Those heart-shaped lips (that Daehyun already wanted to kiss 24/7) were coated in a thin layer of gloss, making them shimmer in the right light and Daehyun just wanted to nibble at them. His already pale skin looked like flawless porcelain, the only colour being on his cheeks and Daehyun knew that the pink dusting his face wasn't makeup.

If Daehyun hadn't missed Youngjae so much, he may have been in the right mind to be embarrassed about how blatantly he was checking out the younger boy and the small whine that escaped his lips when Youngjae smiled at him. He _had_ missed Youngjae, though, and he _wasn't_ in the right mind, so instead of feeling embarrassed he took three long strides toward his angel, gripped the lapels of his blazer and smashed their lips together.

Youngjae let out a small gasp from the shock and Daehyun took the opportunity to let his tongue explore Youngjae's mouth, loving the sounds the younger made when he ran his tongue lightly along the roof of his mouth. Youngjae's hands flew up to Daehyun's hair, his fingers grasping desperately at the short hairs above Daehyun's neck without a care that he might be messing up Dae's hair.

Daehyun's hands started to wander further down to grasp at Youngjae's hips. He pulled his Jae in closer, their bodies now flush together like there was some magnetic force between them. One of Daehyun's hands squeezed Youngjae's hip tight (not missing the way the younger's prominent hip bone dug into his palm much more than it used to) while the other slid around to cup one of Youngjae's pert cheeks.

Youngjae stiffened at the touch, repeatedly telling himself that _it's only Daehyun, it's only Daehyun, it's only Daehyun._ Thankfully, Daehyun noticed Youngjae's discomfort and removed his hand, sliding it back up to Youngjae's waist. Youngjae relaxed in Dae's arms and the elder smiled against his lips.

The kiss ended with a small whine from Youngjae. Daehyun pressed his forehead against Youngjae's and closed his eyes, revelling in the closeness. He pressed one last fleeting kiss to the younger's lips before leaning back to look at him.

“You are gorgeous, Jae-ah,” he said with a soft smile. Youngjae felt the heat rise to his face. “Oh! I got this for you, too.”

Daehyun went back to where he was previously talking with Yongguk and grabbed something off of an end table. Youngjae would be lying if he said he didn't already miss Daehyun's warmth, but he didn't want to waste any more time with the elder.

Daehyun returned with a small pin corsage. It was a yellow rose in full bloom and his heart swelled at the semblance. The corsage matched the yellow bow-tie Daehyun had gotten with his tuxedo and he was flattered that Dae put so much thought into it.

“Thank you,” he said and pecked Daehyun's cheek.

Dae pinned the corsage to Youngjae's breast-pocket and couldn't stop the smile that blossomed on his face at the sight of the younger.

Youngjae smiled back before adding as an afterthought, “how are my eyebrows?”

“Yah!” Zelo exclaimed, making Youngjae jump. He and Daehyun had forgotten all about their friends for a moment there. “You eyebrows look good, stop questioning my skills! Now that you guys are finished eating each other's faces, can we go?”

Youngjae's face went redder than it had been all night and he scampered out the door.

• • • • • •

The school gym was decked to the nines – black and silver streamers started at the centre of the roof where the mirror ball hung and fanning out to the walls, giving the gym roof a shape similar to that of a circus top. The lighting was dim and intimate, but not romantic. Circles of bright light danced around the room, across people and onto walls as the mirror ball turned. Balloons of the same colour scheme were scattered here and there throughout the gym and in one corner there was a photo-booth set up.

Zelo immediately dragged Yongguk to the dance floor amongst the other students and their dates. He gestured for Youngjae and Daehyun to join them.

Daehyun turned to Youngjae and held out a hand.

“Wanna dance?” he asked and, really, when he was giving Youngjae that look – the one that made Youngjae feel like he was the only person Daehyun saw – how could he refuse?

Youngjae took his hand and let Daehyun lead him through the crowd to Junhong and Yongguk. Daehyun ducked to avoid one of Zelo's flying elbows as he 'krumped' before Yongguk, the elder laughing so hard at his boyfriend's antics that he was nearly in tears.

“Oh God, Zelo please don't start twerking,” Youngjae joked, a smile playing on his lips.

“Or do, I don't mind,” Yongguk smirked, eyeing his boyfriend up and down. Zelo whispered something in Yongguk's ear and Youngjae was glad that he didn't know what was said, if the hungry look in Yongguk's eyes was anything to go by.

Daehyun let out a laugh at the interaction and threw an arm around Youngjae. He knew Youngjae wasn't much of a dancer, so he didn't pressure Youngjae to do anything he didn't want to. He pulled Youngjae close, hugging him and swaying far too slow for the upbeat song.

Junhong seemed to spot someone from over Yongguk's shoulder and jumped back from his boyfriend (who had been sensually grinding against Junhong not a second before) and waved the person over.

“Jongup hyung!” he called out and not a second later, Jongup joined their small group along with his date; the same girl from Yongguk and Junhong's housewarming. “Hello Jihae~”

She waved at the guys and Jongup bowed.

“Hello hyungs,” he greeted, the smile never fading from his face. “Hey, Youngjae, I haven't seen you around in a while. How have you been?”

Youngjae's smile faltered a little but he kept his composure. “I've been good, thanks for asking.”

Daehyun tightened his hold on Youngjae, silently comforting his boyfriend. Youngjae leaned into his touch.

“Youngjae oppa?” a girl Youngjae didn't know piped in, coming to his side. “It's so good that you're here! I heard about what happened last year and I couldn't believe it! I felt so bad for not helping you when you were being bullied. Oh, is this your boyfriend? He's so cute! You guys look great together! I was going to ask you to dance but...”

Youngjae zoned out, no longer hearing what she was saying over the pounding in his ears. Suddenly, the gym felt too small and claustrophobic. He felt crowded and trapped with nowhere to run. He thought he could handle this, but he could barely handle a day at school. Now he was in one room – a large room, but a room nonetheless – with everyone in his senior class, plus more?

He felt his palms start to sweat and his breathing become laboured. When did it get so hot? He barely registered the other people that had come to crowd him, apologising for not standing up for him and hoping they can be friends and complimenting Daehyun. It was all too much for him.

“I need to go,” he said and bolted from Daehyun's arms before the Busan man had a chance to hold onto him.


	17. Chapter 17

“Sorry guys,” Daehyun said to his friends (and the group of strangers that Youngjae had run out on) watching the door Youngjae had run out of. “Where Jae goes, I follow.”

With that he ran out of the gym, nearly knocking over a few students and a chaperone on the way. It wasn't until once he was out of the gym he realised he had no idea where to go. He looked around aimlessly. There was a path but it forked off to three other halls. Where should he even start?

Luckily, Junhong seemed to have thought of this because Daehyun's phone beeped with a message.

**_To: Daebutt  
From: The Maknae  
Check the roof hyung. Follow the hall straight ahead and there'll be signs directing you there._ **

Daehyun didn't bother texting back – he'd thank him in person later – and sprinted down the hallway that stretched out in front of him. Sure enough, there were signs directing him to other school blocks, classrooms and the roof.

It didn't take him long to find the stairs heading straight for the roof. Even above the school he could hear the music pounding from downstairs, but even that didn't drown out the small sniffle that came from behind a large solar panel.

“Jae-ah?” he called out softly, not wanting to startle Youngjae.

“Daehyun?” he heard the small voice reply.

In the dark, he saw the outline of Youngjae stand up from behind the solar panel and head toward him. He started toward Youngjae as well, meeting him in the middle and not hesitating to throw his arms around him in a bone crushing hug.

“I'm sorry for running out. Thank you for following me,” the younger said into Daehyun's broad chest.

“You don't need to thank me; I had to make sure you were okay. Are you?”

“I'm...overwhelmed,” he shifted to look at Daehyun's face. Youngjae's breath caught in his throat; he had forgotten how good Daehyun looked in the moonlight. “It was a lot and I don't think I was ready for it. I'm glad to be up here though...alone with you...”

“I'm going to kiss you,” was Daehyun's response. “Is that okay?”

Youngjae's reply was a swift kiss, there and gone before Daehyun even knew what was happening. Taking the hint, Daehyun swooped down to meet Youngjae's lips. The younger didn't hesitate to respond, his tongue dancing with Daehyun's just as eagerly.

Youngjae wanted more. He had missed Daehyun more than anything and he wanted to be close to him, he wanted to feel his warmth again, he wanted all his senses to be engulfed by _Daehyun, Daehyun, Daehyun_ and nothing else.

“Daehyun wait,” Youngjae said, pushing against Dae's chest lightly.

Daehyun loosened his grip to give Youngjae some space, immediately searching him for anything that could be wrong.

“What is it baby? What's wrong? Did I do something?”

“No,” Youngjae assured him, his arms giving Daehyun's waist a tight squeeze, “No, it's not you but there is something I need to tell you.”

Daehyun knew Youngjae could see the worry on his face, but he tried his best to conceal it. He tried to remain calm, for Youngjae.

“You can tell me anything,” Daehyun said, running a hand up and down Youngjae's arm to let the younger know that he was there.

“It was, um,” Youngjae gulped and looked anywhere but at Daehyun. What would Daehyun think of him after he knew? _No._ He couldn't think like that. “It was the night after we broke up. It was late and I wanted to get away from my house, even just for a little while. I was going to the convenience store near my house when I saw a police man – Officer Hyuk Seo. He's the one who took me back to my parents. They were – are – paying him off to keep quiet about what they do to me. So I told him what I know and I threatened him. It was stupid, I know it was, but I was so _mad_. Anyway, he...he, uh, threw me down...and then he got on top of me and he tried- he tried to-”

Daehyun cut Youngjae off by pulling him into a tight embrace.

His arms wove tight around Youngjae, like if he just held on tight enough he could shield the younger from anything – even his own memories. Youngjae leaned into Daehyun, burying his face in the elder's chest to muffle his choked sobs.

Youngjae's shaky hands gripped at the collar of Daehyun's blazer. He needed the reassurance that Daehyun was _there_ and not about to wake up or walk out.

Daehyun's breath was coming out in short, angry huffs against Youngjae's ear. His hands were balled into fists and he was sure his knuckles were going white from the clutch he had on the back of Youngjae's tuxedo jacket.

“I'm going to kill him,” Daehyun muttered, his eyes hard. “I swear, Youngjae, if he laid a hand on you I won't hold back. I will _kill_ him.”

Daehyun felt Youngjae shake his head.

“He didn't,” he said, shifting his head to look up at Daehyun. “I mean, he didn't get the chance. Um, Yongguk hyung saved me before he could do anything.”

A mixture of emotions flashed across Daehyun's face. Surprise, guilt, anger – but the one that stuck hurt Youngjae the most; betrayal.

“Yongguk?” his grip loosened on Youngjae. Youngjae closed his fists tighter around Daehyun's collar. “Yongguk knew this whole time? All the times I've seen him since then... Why didn't he tell me?!”

“I told him not to, Daehyun. Please don't be mad at him,” Youngjae pleaded.

“I'm not mad, I'm just upset, I guess. This is important, Youngjae. He should be in jail! I don't understand why you wanted to keep it a secret from me.”

“You had just broken my heart, Daehyun. I already felt like shit about myself and then-” Youngjae took a deep breath to calm himself down before he got too riled up. “And then that happened. My first instinct was to run to you because you were my safe place, but I couldn't. I was hurt and humiliated in more ways than one and I wasn't about to rub salt in my own wounds by involving you.”

Daehyun's brow knitted together and he tilted his head to meet Youngjae's eyes. Daehyun felt himself getting lost in Youngjae's beautiful, light brown orbs. His grip on Youngjae released fully, instead his hands came up to frame Youngjae's face.

“I'm sorry, Jae,” he spoke softly and swept a thumb across Youngjae's cheekbone tenderly. “I'm so sorry that you had to go through that alone. I know you had Yongguk and Zelo, but it should have been me. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you all the times you needed me the most.”

“You're here now,” Youngjae's tone matched Daehyun's. He knew they didn't have to whisper, there was no one else around, but the words being spoken were for their ears only and so they would speak them that way.

Slowly (almost hesitantly, if Youngjae was paying too close attention) Daehyun brought Youngjae's lips to his own.

The kiss was soft and slow and passionate. It was everything Youngjae had missed about not having Daehyun in his life and it couldn't have been more perfect. This kiss meant the world to Youngjae; it soothed his mind and his racing heart. This kiss was so very obviously _Daehyun_ and even Youngjae's bruised and battered mind couldn't confuse it for someone else.

“I'm here now,” Daehyun agreed, his mouth still so close to Youngjae's that the younger could feel their lips brushing with every word. “And I'm not going anywhere.”

 

• • • • • •

 

Despite Youngjae running off so early, Junhong had a good night.

Sure it sucked that he couldn't spend it with his favourite hyung, but he understood. Youngjae had never liked attention, whether good or bad, so it didn't bother Junhong too much when he got away from it all. Knowing Daehyun went after him helped Zelo let it go, too. He was just glad that Youngjae got out of that house to have fun, even if it was only for a little while.

Junhong had spent majority of his time dancing with Yongguk. Well, 'with' is a pretty loose term. It was more like dancing with Yongguk drooling over him, or (especially in the case of when the DJ decided to play _Take It Slow_ by Taeyang) grinding up against each other when the chaperones weren't looking. At one point, he and Jongup had drawn a crowd with their dancing and Junhong found that he liked the attention and praise he was receiving for his talent.

The time for the last song came all too soon for Zelo. Couples gathered all around him and he pulled Yongguk forward with no hesitance. They swayed together to the slow love song. They were slightly off-beat but they paid it no mind; they had their own rhythm and it worked for them. It wasn't until about halfway through the song that bubbles started to fill the gym. They shone a mixture of colours as they floated down until they burst like small fireworks. It was magical. It was perfect.

Now, nearly half an hour after prom had ended, Junhong was still feeling the buzz. The smile on his face warmed Yongguk's heart and the elder would do anything to make sure that smile never faded.

“Can we go the long way home, Gukkie?” Zelo asked as the couple headed back to Yongguk's car. They had hung around the gym for a while, waiting for the others to filter out so they didn't get crushed in the stampede, and then waited on a bench outside until the traffic cleared a little, passing the time with small touches, chaste kisses and mindless conversations. “I don't want the night to end just yet.”

“Anything you want, baby,” Yongguk told him. He flashed Zelo his wide, gummy smile and grasped the younger's hand. He didn't let go of Junhong's hand until they reached the car.

Zelo connected his phone to the car stereo the moment he got in. As soon as the car started he turned the music up loud and began bopping and singing along in his seat. Yongguk cast him a sideways glance and chuckled to himself. This boy was going to be the death of him. (Possibly literally. It was hard to keep his eyes on the road when Zelo was acting so cute beside him).

Yongguk loved seeing Junhong this happy. He seemed so different from when they first met that fateful day; Junhong was so small (metaphorically speaking, of course. The boy had always towered over Yongguk) and shy around Yongguk, now here he was in the elder's car singing obnoxiously loud and pointing to Yongguk while singing lines like _baby, I'm in love with you_.

He wouldn't change it for the world, though. If he could go back and meet Zelo once again the only thing he'd do differently is asking Junhong on a proper date sooner. He still doesn't know how he resisted the younger boy's charms for so long.

“Eyes on the road!” Junhong exclaimed seeing Yongguk staring at him again. Yongguk pretended not to notice Junhong's red ears.

Yongguk forced his gaze back to the road ahead of him.

' _Eyes straight ahead, Yongguk,_ ' he thought to himself.

It didn't seem to work as he found himself, once again, admiring the crescents of Junhong's eyes, the curve of his nose and the plushness of his lips.

Zelo was now singing to _U &I_ by Ailee. He was singing loud and off-key, although the driver knew that, if he wanted to, Junhong could sing that song pretty well. Right now Junhong wasn't caring about sounding good; he was having fun!

The next thing Yongguk said seemed to fall past his lips before he could catch himself.

“Marry me.”

Junhong stopped mid-high-note and stared back at the elder. Yongguk seemed to remember he was driving and turned back to the road, thankful for the distraction.

“Yongguk, what are you-”

“I'm serious,” he said and threw another glance Zelo's way. “This isn't something that I thought of just then. I have a ring at home and everything! I didn't bring it tonight because I wanted to plan something big and special but right now, seeing you so happy, I-- wait.”

The car swerved and pulled to a stop on the side of the road. Some cars beeped their horns at the disturbance in the traffic flow, but Yongguk couldn't care less. Let them beep; he had a proposal to make.

The songwriter got out of the car and practically ran around to Zelo's side. He opened the door and ushered Zelo out, grabbing his hand for extra leverage. Yongguk was relieved to still see that blinding smile on Junhong's mouth. Yongguk moved a hair off of Junhong's face, pecked his lips and dusted off the taller's shoulders before taking a small step back and dropping to one knee.

“Choi Junhong, first of all, I would like to apologise for not having a ring. I hope that you will look past that small flaw and consider my proposal anyway,” he said, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth as he tried to keep a straight face. “Now, I would like to say that you are the love of my life. You made me a better person and every day I'm thankful that you saw something in me worth loving. Your smile makes my day. Your soft words heal me. Your kisses inspire every single cheesy love song that I write.

“I don't know what will happen in the future but I know that no matter what I want you there, by my side. With you, I feel like I can do anything. I can jump any hurdle as long as you're there at the other end.

“I know you're still young and, legally, we still can't get married for another year but I'm willing to wait as long as you need me to; whether it be one year or a hundred. This is a big decision and I'll fully I understand if you need some time to think about it. So, my Junhong, my Junnie, will you marry me?”

Junhong's eyes were shining and he was shaking ever so slightly. He was rocking back and forth on his heels. Yongguk had seen him do this enough to know that he was trying to stop himself from jumping around and squealing.

“Yes! Yes, of course I will!” he said, his voice shaky with tears. “Now get up already so I can kiss you!”

Yongguk was happy to oblige, springing to his feet and crashing his lips to Zelo's. Hands roamed, teeth clashed and tongues danced and fought. Kissing Yongguk always sent Zelo to cloud nine and right now it felt like nothing less than heaven.

Neither broke the kiss until they were nearly gasping for air. Yongguk kept himself busy leaving a mark on Junhong's neck while the younger tried to catch his breath.

“Yongguk?” Zelo panted between shallow gasps – both from lack of air and the feeling of Yongguk's mouth on his neck.

His boyfriend –no – _finance_ hummed in response.

“Let's go home and celebrate _properly_.” he said, raising a suggestive eyebrow.

The songwriter nodded his agreement and practically shoved Zelo back in the car.

Yongguk had never driven so fast.


	18. Chapter 18

He had gotten home with no problems; his parents hadn't even noticed his absence and were back to making his life hell the very next day (hence how he was now in the kitchen making the three of them dinner while they fought in the next room over).

Going back home after a night like that was hard for Youngjae. He had remembered how good his life was with Daehyun and he missed it.

They had stayed on the roof for a while before Daehyun took Youngjae out to eat. He bought a smorgasbord of food for Youngjae, despite Youngjae's protest that he didn't need that much.

_“Youngjae, I can see how thin you've gotten!” Daehyun argued._

_“I feel fine, Dae. You don't need to worry ab-”_

_“Yes, I do,” the elder said, his voice stern yet his eyes soft. “Now eat.”_

He knew that Daehyun was going to get him out and, if all went to plan, get Hyukseo arrested. He had told Youngjae that he only had to wait a little while longer, maybe a couple of days.

A couple of days had been and past and Youngjae hadn't heard a thing from Daehyun. Even Junhong felt distant, barely replying to Youngjae's messages and never initiating the conversation.

Youngjae felt tears stinging his eyes and was thankful that he was chopping an onion because that's why he was tearing up. It was not because he was feeling rejected and alone, _again_ , it was because of the onion. At least, that's what he repeatedly told himself. _The onion, the onion, the onion_.

“Fuck,” he muttered to himself, putting down the knife and pressing the palms of his hands to his eyes. “Stop it, Yoo Youngjae.”

He heard a _bang!_ coming from the other room and sighed to himself, going back to chopping the vegetables. He had been around this enough to know that his parents fight had just become physical and it would be turned onto him if they came in and saw him doing nothing.

“Fuck you, Kyungjae! You worthless slob! Why did I ever marry you?!” Youngjae heard his mother scream, followed by the sound of a sharp slap.

“At least I'm not a _whore_!” Kyungjae shot back.

The door to the kitchen was slammed open, clanging against the wall hard enough to dent the plaster. Youngjae ignored whoever it was that walked in and continued his cooking.

“Oh, _you're_ here,” Kyungjae sneered.

“You want to eat, don't you?” Youngjae shot back before he could stop himself.

There were heavy footsteps and then a palm shoving him roughly. The hand holding the knife slipped as he was pushed against the counter, slicing the palm of his other hand. The sudden sting made the tears return.

“Aw, are you crying Youngjae? Huh? Are you crying like a baby?” Kyungjae stirred, grabbing Youngjae's shoulder and spinning him around to face Kyungjae. Judging by the scratches on Kyungjae's cheek, he was the one that received the slap.

“No, it- it's just the onions,” he replied, closing his bleeding hand into a fist.

Kyungjae placed his beer bottle – the one Youngjae didn't even realise he was holding – onto the bench beside Youngjae and spread his arms out.

“Come on then,” he said, “hit me.”

Youngjae stared, wondering if he'd heard right. “What?”

“You heard me; hit me. You want to talk back to me like a big man, you can fight me like one too.”

“No! You're crazy!” Youngjae yelled. His blood was boiling. He couldn't believe what Kyungjae was saying.

The man shrugged and threw a closed fist at Youngjae's stomach. The teen clutched his already-bruised torso and doubled over in pain. Kyungjae's foot connected with the side of Youngjae's head. The younger's vision blurred for a moment.

“Stop!” he screamed out, managing to straighten himself up and back away from Kyungjae as much as he could.

“Fight back, bitch! Fight back!” he roared.

Before he could think about what he was doing, Youngjae grabbed the beer bottle beside him and swung it aimlessly at Kyungjae. The bottle connected with Kyungjae's shoulder and the man cringed in pain before grabbing Youngjae's wrist and yanking the bottle from his hand. Youngjae cowered but it did nothing to help when Kyungjae swung the bottle back down at him with much more force than Youngjae possessed. The bottle connected with Youngjae's collarbone and shattered. One of the jagged edges of the bottle snagged on Youngjae's shirt, ripping the material and the skin beneath it.

Youngjae didn't even bother trying to stop the new flow of tears as he dropped to the floor, his arms crossed tight over his bleeding chest.

“Pathetic,” Kyungjae spat.

“Whoa, whoa, what's going on in here?” a new voice joined the fray; one that still haunted Youngjae's dreams.

The scared teen looked up and the rest of the colour drained from his face when he saw Hyukseo. The dirty cop stepped over Youngjae to get to the refrigerator. He pulled out a bottle of old milk (Youngjae had no idea how long it'd been in there) and shook it.

“Your milk is bad,” Hyukseo said and put it back in the fridge and swapping it for the orange juice. “Oh, don't stop on my account,” he added, taking a seat at the dining table and a swig of the juice.

Youngjae thought he might pass out. He felt utterly helpless. He knew he wasn't strong enough to fight against Kyungjae and even if he was, Junsu or Hyukseo or both would join in and there would be no way he could fight all three of them off.

A hand gripped Youngjae's hair at the base of his scalp and pulled him up.

“Keeping you was the worst mistake I've ever made,” the drunken man slurred, his face too close to Youngjae's for comfort. He could smell the alcohol and cigarettes on Kyungjae's breath. Youngjae had to keep himself from gagging.

He heard Hyukseo chuckle from somewhere behind Kyungjae. The hand in Youngjae's hair tightened and shook. Youngjae's head felt woozy again and he felt his consciousness slipping. He vaguely heard a door slam somewhere, but he paid it no mind. He didn't bother trying to stay awake any longer. He didn't want to be conscious for whatever they were going to do to him, anyway.

“Police! Put your hands up!” a female voice called out.

The hand in Youngjae's hair released and that's when his eyes snapped back open just in time to see a familiar figure run toward him and take him into his arms before the younger boy could collapse.

“It's okay now, Youngjae. I'm here, baby. I'm here,” Daehyun whispered as he ran his fingers lightly through Youngjae's hair.

Youngjae blinked and looked around the kitchen. Kyungjae and Hyukseo being handcuffed was the last thing Youngjae saw before he blacked out.

• • • • • •

When Youngjae next opened his eyes, he noticed three things in succession. One; that he was not in his room. Two; that this bed felt oddly familiar, yet far too soft to be his own. Three; he was in pain.

He sat up slowly so the room seemed to spin less, and rubbed his head with the palm of his hand. He scanned his surroundings and immediately realised where he was. Daehyun's apartment. Daehyun's _room_. He also noticed how all of his things were exactly as they were the last time he was here. They were apart for months, yet Daehyun kept his things there. The feeling made Youngjae smile a little.

“Whoa, Youngjae, what are you doing? Lay down!” Daehyun exclaimed, rushing into the room and gently pushing Youngjae back down onto the bed.

“What's going on?” Youngjae asked, letting Daehyun guide him back down.

“Your parents were arrested, Jae,” Daehyun told him, crouching down to his height and grabbing one of Youngjae's hands in his own. “Hyukseo, too.”

Youngjae stared for a beat, and then he blinked and wondered whether or not he heard right.

“What?” he repeated, his voice flat.

“It's over. It's all over. I've been around, you know? I'm sorry I didn't call you, but I didn't want you to get in trouble with the police for talking to me when this went down. I was waiting until things got bad at home – well, worse than usual, anyway.

“Then I found Hyukseo and I reported a disturbance at your house, knowing he'd go there and not do anything. And I'm sorry, I'm _so, so sorry_ for putting you through that, seeing him again, but I needed him there otherwise I knew he'd get away with what he tried to do and I couldn't let that happen.

“So, once he was there I called in a real report about a disturbance at your house. The police showed up just as you passed out. They saw Kyungjae beating you and Junsu and Hyukseo doing nothing, so they were all arrested.”

Youngjae just stared. He couldn't seem to find the words to express how he felt. Was he happy? Of course he was; he was finally safe. Was he scared? Hell yes. He's had the false sense of security before, only to have it ripped from him by his parents and Hyukseo.

He opened his mouth to say something, _anything_ , but the only noise he made was a choked sob.

Daehyun gave his hand a reassuring squeeze and brought it to his lips, kissing the smooth skin softly.

“They're really going to jail?” he whispered, afraid that if he spoke too loud he would shatter this too-good-to-be-true dream.

“For a long, long time,” Dae concluded with a nod.

“And I can stay with you? For good?”

Daehyun averted Youngjae's gaze for a split second. “The court hasn't decided on that for sure. You've been released into my custody for now, but that could change. It's your birthday soon so I doubt they'll put you in foster care for that short a time. We have a few court dates, too, but other than that you're free.”

Youngjae's lips spread into a smile. Daehyun's heart warmed at the sight. He hadn't seen Youngjae smile in so long, he didn't realise how much he had truly missed it. Daehyun barely had time to register Youngjae reaching out for him before the younger's mouth had captured his.

Daehyun kissed back eagerly, loving the way Youngjae felt against him.

It had been a long, hard road but they finally reached the end of it together. They weren't completely in the clear yet but Daehyun wasn't worried. He would be with Youngjae the rest of the way and nothing could change that.

There were still things that Daehyun wanted to tell Youngjae about, like Junhong and Yongguk's engagement, but also things like Daehyun was taking part in an exhibition at an art gallery. The theme was 'dreams', so Daehyun submitted his sketches of Youngjae. Before they met, Daehyun dreamed of true love.

And then he dreamt of Youngjae.

And then there was no difference to Daehyun.

He loved Youngjae with every fibre of his being; dreaming or not, asleep or awake. Youngjae was his true love. Youngjae was his dream come true. Now that he has Youngjae he has a new dream; to start a life with the younger boy. A life with a house and a dog and a rugrat or two (or three or four, Daehyun isn't picky). Daehyun couldn't wait to spend the rest of their lives making that dream come true.


End file.
